a bit of a gut wrenching parenting song, especially if you are one, and you've maybe even lived out the scenes in this music video. because honestly, you know, i expected the blissful and authentic joy parts, the relentless "wanting the very best" for our kids, the hilarious and fun parts, the beaming with pride parts, the wild love and endless snapshots of family life that you never ever want to forget (thus this humble blog).
still, any seasoned and honest parent will also tell you this grind is tough. and maybe i didn't contemplate that very much before our babies arrived... yes, it really hurts sometimes. it exasperates you and empties you on many other days. it goes sooooo very fast, while other days literally drag...and your heart gets wrung out more times than you'd dare to count. from day one you sustain, like literally keep alive a wee bundle of baby love as this tiny child utterly depends on your care, and then slowly but surely as you teach and guide and instill the really important parts, you release he or she to the great vast world that awaits, with all it's horror and wonder. you love the same deep unending way, but you set them free to discover their own journeys. you make mistakes, so many mistakes along the way, but you do your absolute best because it is not lost on you that you have been entrusted the greatest of gifts. so you press on and you pray. and you grit your teeth and laugh and cry and collapse in the dark each night, wondering if you did enough. God strengthens you, and you know you'd never make it without His care. and you wake up and do it all over again. you try to lead with Love, you try to model Christ, you try to speak life-giving words. sometimes you blow it, many days in fact, and you hope that through your weaknesses somehow the undercurrent of love is still enough.
yet even so~ and this isn't just the right, very cliché thing to say, it is 100% my highest calling. the very highest. this is it. i'd take it all~ every single day of this journey, over not ever being called to parent. that would be wayyy too dull anyway... biologcial parent, foster parent, adoptive parent~ thankful for all of it...
so, here's a nice song. enjoy! :)
by NEEDTOBREATHE and featuring Carly Pearce
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