twilight zone

for some time, okay....more like ten years, i've known something to be predictably true with this family of mine.  it is something shared between the children and myself, and i'm almost always the only adult privy to the "experience".  it's the challenging moments of time captured between 3:30 pm and 5:30 pm, Monday to Friday.  just two hours, almost exactly to the minute every day.  i affectionately refer to these hours as the "twilight zone".  daddy isn't here most days during this time as he's trying to tie up loose ends at work and get himself home.  he works sooo hard and i'm not downplaying that a bit.  i just wish he was here.  it's the daily shift from daytime to evening when we try to fit a zillion things in that really short block of time.  therein lies the problem, perhaps.  however, i know not how to change this....:)  before i proceed any further~ let's be clear.  this little explanation of our family's twilight zone is not shared to generate sympathy.  it is also not for seeking praise.  it just is what it is and i want to remember the real, non-sugar-coated truth of these 120 minutes when i'm sitting reading a novel with my feet up at age 60. hey~ a girl can dream!  maybe i'll be chasing a dozen grandchildren around instead, but right now that's too much to process, so i'm sticking with the book idea! :)
initially, i'm always happy to see the faces of my kids at the end of their school day.  really, i am. they are fresh and boisterous and happy to share with me, their mom.  sometimes they might forget that i'm only one human, however!!  they are full of stories to tell (i blame you, Mr. Johns!!!!! :)), things to share (or not share but should be, which i begin the process of determining by using pointed questions and stealth deciphering of non-verbal expressions~ exhausting all on its own...let me tell you) and questions to ask.  there is discussion of homework to be done, tests coming up, supper menu, after school snack options, evening plans, sport schedules, classroom behaviour (ahem), whether homework to be done made it in the backpack or remains in the locked classroom, etc....also, there is often some sort of scrap between two or more of the youngest three on the ride home.  this is usually just verbal, but still not super enjoyable.  so, during the six minute ride home we cover a lot of ground.  by the time i roll into the garage, i take a deep breath and sing the lyrics to my favourite country song ever, even though i only know about five in total.  "You're Gonna Miss This..."  and it's true, i know it is.  but some days this two hour window kicks me in the butt pretty hard.  that's the honest truth.  on the days when our evenings are open, everything is a bit slower and easier to navigate.  this does happen at least twice a week, thankfully.
the first task once inside the door is to unload backpacks.  sounds simple, but very difficult for some.  there is redirection that happens every single day.  i start by unloading lunch bags, filling a sink to clean containers, wiping lunch bags and re-filling with the next day's lunch.  all the while guiding children (usually just the brown boys) to their spots for homework~ ie, unfinished math, spelling list practice, assigned reading, poem/speech practice, etc.  this is very slowwww....it just is.  it doesn't have to be, they are most capable, but by then my sweet boys have decided they are more interested in everything else that's going on in the busy kitchen.  older kids are finding a snack, sharing details of the day, giving me mounds of papers to sign, fill out, etc...simultaneously i'm helping with homework, giving hugs, offering bathroom assistance :), breaking up an argument, and trying my best to be present and in the moment, the moment each one needs it!  this is tough, and some days i fail miserably at this while other days bless me with short snippets of pure reward as i look into their eyes.  i just wish i could master this each day. really, i do.  i'm also working towards supper by then which needs to happen on time if there is evening wrestling or youth group.  hopefully supper is well underway, but you know how that goes.  not every meal is in the crockpot simmering.  some require chopping, mashing, slicing, last minute assembling, etc...the table needs to be set (if help is available i most certainly delegate), usually while Layla practices piano.  sometimes all six are home together during these two hours, but often it's just three or four until pick-ups happen.  Adam often rolls in between 4:30 and 5:00 pm.  sometimes i'm blessed to have another mom who drives by our road offer to drop him off after badminton or basketball practice, but when this doesn't work i need to pack up the three for a quick trip to the school to grab him.  so glad we live close by.  next the girls need a pick up at 4:45-5:00 pm from wrestling practice.  if Adam is home the younger ones can stay with him.  but when he's not, or if spirits are running particularly wild that day, then they come with me anyway.  some of those antics are not ones i'd wish on Adam as caretaker!  we cruise home from the highschool (again, so thankful we live close) and attempt to get supper on the table asap.  on occasion there are bigger kid issues being discussed during this time as well.  bigger kids bring bigger issues.  it can be draining.  keeping it real.  then, once my darlings start to consume a meal, most times that's when i see a transformation. maybe it's not just with them, but also with me.  i'm sitting down finally, homework that requires my assistance is usually done (by most) and we can all take a breather.  i love love love seeing them eat a meal i've planned and prepared.  it is rewarding, especially if they like it!  there is great, immeasurable value in family mealtime.  we can regroup together.  often it's like the twilight zone behaviours, moods, frustrations melt away and we are all together again after a time of being apart.  sometimes it is disappointing, but sometimes it can feel just magical. real deal family stuff. 
once 5:30 hits, everything seems easier after that.  daddy makes it home, supper happens.  i've always felt this routine i describe above is 100% the most challenging time of my day.  i'll take the morning and bedtime routine any day over this.  yet, we survive.  hopefully overall we thrive.  while generally the kids require far less care and hands on help from me as they grow older, we've shifted into a much more active stage of activities and just stuff going on.  i'm learning as i go.  i want to remember the pace and the feelings surrounding these crazy few hours of my day.  i fear it may all just be a blur if not recorded somewhere.  so, here it is.  now i feel like i need a nap...

aj quote

the other morning it was just my brown boys and i getting ready to load the van for school.  Layla and Adam had left early for a school tournament and Joelle and Hannah had caught the bus earlier.  jeff was at work.  we were gathering backpacks, zipping coats, etc...
me: "wouldn't it be strange if we only had two kids in our family?  this is what it would be like!!  it feels so different.  like, this is just sooo~" (i'm thinking words like "simple, quiet, easy-peasy, tame, tranquil....you know!)
AJ jumped in and finished the sentence with this baffled kind of expression: "AWKWARD!!"

ok....some might argue the opposite, that "six" looks very awkward, but i'm glad he's comfortable with our number...
:)

four

four years.  this Sunday marked the four-year anniversary of the Haiti earthquake.  i remember so clearly being gripped by the images being shown on CNN in the days that followed the quake.  i felt compelled to watch it all, to take it in, even the most gruesome and tragic of stories.  i remember sharing with my mom how hard it was to function normally as everything around me seemed to pale in priority when stacked against the horror shown real-time in that country i loved.  i remember the desperate longing to help.  i remember the hopelessness~ played out on my TV screen and felt deep in my being.

in light of the memory of that day, i thought i'd share this link.  a happy ending, and a reminder of the time when frantic adoptive parents awaited the arrival of their Haitian children after the quake.  it is the story of Aaron and Jamie Ivey and the adoption journey of their son.  it's a short five minute story that makes me cry every time, but that's no real surprise.  it takes me back to our journey to Hudson and AJ.  it makes be proud of humanity to see how so many rallied for these kids, and still do, whether there in Haiti or here at home.  many care, many feel compelled to serve and love and give.  it's nice to see.

then, for the really crazy adoption people, (you know who you are, and i love your hearts! :)) another link that i expect only two or three of you will actually want to watch in its entirety. haha...it is 59 minutes long, (but feels so much shorter...really!) an adoption message called Adopted: The Cost of Love by Aaron Ivey, the same father in the link above.  i won't add to it, because it is all there~ like really, all there.  he nails it.  so glad he did.  i know his story and passion and eloquent way of sharing God's truth will surely have a part in "setting the lonely in families". wow.  as a side note, Aaron is a musician and has also written a beautiful adoption song i believe i've linked to before, so i won't do so again, but search him up, there's lots of good stuff from him online. 

what i loved most

Christmas 2013 is in the books!  i welcome a new year and all that it holds.  there are things that are noteworthy from this wonderful holiday season, however.  on the eve (we think) of the return to normal routine (yes, this was to have occurred a couple days ago, however due to extreme weather conditions we've enjoyed an extended break) i shall take a moment to consider the highlights i loved most....
here are a few~
1. new socks and underwear for all.  love that. so exciting.  i don't know why.
2. warm fires and family movies.
3. slower pace, sleeping in, no schedule or deadlines.  i'm dead tomorrow when the grind resumes.  i might not survive.
4. seeing lots of skating on the ice rink.  a New Year's Eve highlight when many kids had a real game of hockey with their dads~ even two dads as goalies. 
5. time with extended family and friends.  loved this so very much. 
6. sugar cookies, croquettes, oliebollen, and endless other delicious dishes and treats...good thing it's back to the gym this week! :)
7. watching Hudson share several playdates with his friend and special Haitian connection.
8. Christmas Eve service~ remembering Christ in Christmas.
9. puzzling with my girls.
10. yummy Ethiopian coffee under my tree.
11. new games.
12. watching my kids buy for eachother and seeing their excitement in doing so.
13. slush punch.
14. watching my kids enjoy new treasures. 
15. many moments of recognizing how crazy blessed we are....

so, with the tree almost at the curb (currently in the middle of the front yard, for some strange reason), the decorations mostly boxed and tucked in storage, and the Christmas baking dwindling quickly, there is so much to feel overwhelming gratitude for...
in closing, a few pics from the last few weeks.  

 

new pajama pants made by one grandma, slippers made by the other...while sitting by a warm fire...that's the life.

 

contrary to how it looks, Jeff did not get to consume all this bacon with his morning coffee.  he wished...although, don't feel too bad for the man, he had more than his share over the past few weeks. 

 

dear Mrs. N. struck again with Christmas gift bags for all six kids.  she is the sweetest to remember them all.  what's not to love about green Jones soda first thing in the morning??  AJ looks like he's already feeling the sugar buzz...

 

good thing the rink allowed the kids to burn those extra calories away.  here, during a flood, when the night is peaceful and quiet, apart from the occasional howl and cry of coyotes~ for real...Jeff is brave.

 

for now, i better get some sleep.  it's back to waking while it's still very dark...sigh....

happy 2014 to all!