a full heart at Christmas

the title sums it up.  really truly does.  my heart is full.  i'm excessively blessed.  and this season of Christmas and wrapping up of 2016 has me extra aware this year, especially as i'm a few months into an exercise of counting my blessings daily. thanks to Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts....i'm a lot late on reading this book, but i really feel like the timing in my life was perfect.  i can't say enough about the truths contained in those pages, and i'm finding it a process of slow transformation that has personally been so very necessary and beneficial.  

anyway, there is much to say about this season of Jesus' birth and all the significance it carries in my life.  there has been personal family time, all eight of us home together under one roof again.  how i loved picking my daughter up.  i love her school stories.  love her excitement about her nursing journey.  love that God is proving faithful in helping me to let go more and let her become.  love the peace He gives me in this challenging process.  love the ways He is shaping her and stretching her and equipping her.  love her sparkle.  love her.  simple as that, i guess....

in there as well, the week before Christmas, was a wonderful, somewhat spontaneous visit from Jhonny.  i blogged about Jhonny last January when he came to Canada from Sweden and we officially met in person for the first time.  i've since learned there are two ways his name is sometimes written, but the way i typed it above is actually correct...anyway, this treat of a second visit from him in a year was short, but so very sweet.  we all love this guy and he is such a fun and warm addition to our family while he is here.  the boys loved having Jhonny attend their Christmas assembly at school.  he accompanied me to pick up Joelle in Hamilton (more travel time~ he's a trooper!).  we enjoyed Thai cuisine together at a charming restaurant in Ancaster.  we shopped (H&M!) and he purchased gifts for his family in Bolivia.  we drank espresso together (mine sweetened!) and enjoyed Swedish treats and conversation and ice skating and hockey and time shared with our extended families getting to know him more.  it was a gift.  so fun.  such a highlight of 2016.  very thankful.  

Jhonny~ if you are reading this~ you are always welcome to visit and it is our pleasure to host you.  you feel like "one of the family" and that is a gift we cherish.  blessings to you as you continue your vacation with family back home.

Christmas, a gift of time off and memories shared with extended family.  a gift of treats and all my favourite foods and waking up without an alarm clock and my sweet husband home for the whole week and my kids enjoying new treasures and board games together and carols all day and cozy new socks and it's just a lot to take in when you put it all together.  grateful beyond words.  so, off to enjoy the crew today, but it's been good to check in and pause and jot down my reasons for this very full heart....

blessings to you and yours as you wrap up 2016 with those you love!

first fire

any crackling fire in our wood burning fireplace is always delightful, but none more than the first fire of the chilly winter season.

we love the warmth, the sounds, the smells and the relaxation of watching those embers burn.  if it must be cold outside, then at least this lessens the blow a bit! 

here's to a toasty winter!  :)

ushering in Christmas

quite honestly, i can't reconcile my mixed bag of pre-Christmas feelings just yet.  so i won't try to organize them and button up the jumbled thoughts i feel this holiday season of suggested joy.  as i said to someone recently, how is it that i'm trying to find great and fun and original gift ideas to buy my kids (and actually having some difficulty with that task because there isn't much more to be given when you have most things anyway) while across the world a little girl in Aleppo is tweeting her real-life horror story of fleeing war and her busted up home and her dolls destroyed and hoping to see another day.  how is it that i'm stashing and stuffing treasures here and there, i'm making Christmas baking ingredient lists and buying pretty paper to decorate and hide my purchases in anticipation of the morning we exchange gifts (and i do love this part!), while children in Aleppo (and Haiti and Burundi and Ethiopia, to name only a few) run low on food and security and hope of ever seeing brighter tomorrows....that feels so messed up. because it is, quite simply.  it just is.  so i leave it there.  but this Christmas season, as we usher in all the festive parts we love and cherish, i feel more than any Christmas before a deep comfort in the Real Reason we celebrate. if not for that baby, that King of the World who in the most beautiful and humble way brought Hope and Light into a simple stable in Bethlehem that dark night so long ago...if not for Him, where would we be?  whatever would be the point in the festivities?  they would be meaningless to me.  

yes, i'm abundantly thankful this Christmas for the gift of Jesus.  for the miraculous birth of that baby~ whose arrival signaled Hope and Peace and Love. for the many who witnessed it then and still for us today.  for me.  for sweet little Bana in Aleppo.  for all the children in this world.  so, just like last year, i'm linking the Christmas song by Lauren Daigle that captures this in exquisite clarity.  enjoy, again...

Light of the World

the world waits for a miracle

the heart longs for a little bit of hope

oh come, oh come Emmanuel

a child prays for peace on earth

and she's calling out from a sea of hurt

oh come, oh come Emmanuel

and can you hear

the angels singing

glory to the light of the world

glory the light of the world

is here

the drought breaks with the tears of a mother

the baby's cry is the sound of love come down

come down, Emmanuel

 He is the song for the suffering

He is Messiah, the Prince of Peace has come, 

He has come, Emmanuel

glory to the light of the world

glory to the light of the world

glory to the light of the world

glory to the light of the world

for all who wait, for all who hunger

for all who've prayed

for all who wonder

behold your King

behold Messiah

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

glory to the light of the world

glory to the light of the world

glory to the light of the world

behold your King

behold Messiah

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

the world waits for a miracle

the heart longs for a little bit of hope

oh come, oh come Emmanuel

an inspiring link

November is National Adoption Month.  hard to believe it's almost over and we're heading into the final month of 2016!  each year November brings with it more information on a subject that is obviously close to my heart~ adoption!  so i get to read lots of true and difficult and important and heartwarming thoughts about this topic i feel deeply about.  it is a mixed bag, that's for sure. 

last week i stumbled upon a radio program about this incredibly brave couple who adopted eight siblings from Sierra Leone.  yep, eight! not a typo. gulp....adopting eight at once is not generally something i'd ever recommend.  neither would they, i can confidently say!  unless of course, God asks you to!  the part of the story that gripped me most was how the father battled with God when he realized this was the direction God wanted them to go.  much like Jonah in the Bible, he pretty much wanted to run and hide.  can you blame him??  

later that evening i listened to the program online in full (it runs in three parts, this link starts at the 2nd of three, but all three are available), and it beautifully highlights this couple's journey of marital challenges and then later their "turn everything upside down" decision to take in these kids in a selfless act of obedience and love.  it is real and it is lovely.  i believe God always asks that we be open to doing hard things, to loving sacrificially, to walking a path faithfully that might look very different than we ever expected it to look, to loving the vulnerable and fatherless, to care for the hurting ones around us.  this isn't just another adoption story.  it's really more of a "yes" story.  again, i'm not suggesting adoption is for everyone because i really believe it is not!  still, there is always work to be done all over this giant globe we call home.  endless ways and countless people that need our care, our love, our life-changing hope.  so consider checking it out to be inspired, especially during the upcoming season of giving. 

Mike and Hayley Jones have written their story in a book called At Any Cost, and i plan on getting my hands on it soon... 

suspend

when your nine year old beats you two out of two times in the game of Suspend.  

luck i say, pure luck, :) especially when you see how carelessly he flings those pieces up in to any open spot.  no "slow and methodical" with this kid.  no strategy of careful consideration and anticipation of weight shifts once his piece is hung...nah, no need!  apparently the strategy is working for him just fine!

fun game though!  one of our favourites!

bathroom performances~ part 2

Hudson has a thing.  he's always enjoyed singing in the bathroom.  it brings me joy.  so much joy.  on this day, last Friday, i captured some of it.  and i'd say the Remembrance Day assembly at school with the choir performance made an impact.  this is part of "God Save the Queen" and "Oh Canada".

the video starts out slow, and there are a few sniffles in there too, but the crescendo ending makes it worth it, i think!  you can hear him before he restarts asking the "audience" to stand for the singing of the national anthem...there are quieter parts of audio that didn't pick up from the other side of the door, where he is making reference to everyone clapping, etc...always in the moment, imagining the actual event as though he is the star.  because why not?!?  love it so very much.

my own personal chef

well, not exactly....okay, not even close really.  still, Jeff is my guy.  always has been.  my best friend and my person who makes each day a wee bit lighter, brighter....and even sometimes tastier??  once or twice a year~ yes! that's it though~ quality, not quantity, right?  so this is why i'm featuring his two creations of 2016 here!  otherwise they might simply get lost from our family memories in the passage of time.  

culinary giftedness is not a label i'd attach to this husband of mine, but probably if he tried to cook more he'd be a master at that too.  just ask him! :) cooking is one of those things i really like to do, and i'm certainly home more and available to do it.  it works best for us this way.  he brings home the bacon.  i cook it.  literally.  on occasion, however, he has a bright idea of something he'd like to try and usually it's more of a fun family event than simply a meal created.  that's why i love it.  the kids pause and notice.  it strikes them as curious to see him prepping and buzzing around the kitchen, and we all enjoy the sight.  

they are pretty used to him finding fun and unique gourmet items when we are out shopping.  that is something that always makes me smile.  when Jeff and i are on one of our weekly shopping/grocery dates i can often find him at the back corner of TJ Maxx, or Kroger checking out cool food items that i'd almost certainly skip over...things like unusual protein bars or crazy Greek yogurt flavours or spicy pickles on skewers or Hawaiian coffee beans or sea salts...some have been amazing, others average, and some just fun family experiments as we all test out the purchases...

when that creativity translates to the kitchen, it always involves making something that would be "fun" for the kids to eat or be involved in.  it's a refreshing change and break when the daily grind of turning out large meals gets me weary.

his signature dish (not really a dish at all, but sounds more impressive) is "bulls-eyes".  really super yummy and even worth the clean-up (ahem...think tornado).

  

(awwhh, hi Joelle! miss you!)

he has discovered that when these are made with cinnamon raisin bread they taste even better!  the perfect salty/sweet combination....

and the most recent venture was homemade panzerottis.  the kids watched him create the first one and then custom made their own.  

it was fun and they actually tasted delicious!  

i think all the children preferred regular pizza, which both Jeff and i cannot understand, but maybe it's because he and i have such fond memories of panzerottis shared together over the years~ take out and eat-in.  we love them, and the homemade version was really yummy!  

wonder what his next creative idea and creation will be...next year... :)

running mates

these two crossing the finish line at the Terry Fox Run not too long ago....

photo credits to one of the race volunteers, i believe, but i loved the moment it captured between #2 and #6.  littlest brother had to have the win!

my handsome dishwasher

he's learning~ not super happy to be learning....but learning nonetheless....

 

he also really enjoys just playing with the trickling water...

not sure where his drying partner went~ those dishes are piling up!

i think i only had to re-wash two items on this particular day! :) 

Haiti

i don't even know what to say....Haiti continues to surface in my thoughts throughout my busy days since hurricane Matthew ravaged southern parts of the country on October 4th.  i don't even know where to put "it"~ this most recent disaster, in my brain.  i admit, it's like i almost feel numb to the news that dribbles out from this land so near and dear to my heart.  i feel so sad~ i read articles, here's a recent one and another and i look at photos and see snippets on the news (short, rare snippets, because the media's ongoing obsession with Donald Trump seems to strangely take precedence over life and death survival and suffering and disaster affecting millions...what is wrong with us??) and it just horrifies me, the complete paradox of our two worlds. while mothers and fathers sit on concrete floors with no covering overhead from the sun and rains at night, while attempting to shelter their traumatized and hungry children, my children hop on a school bus that picks them up at the end of our driveway, with lunches in backpacks and jackets and shoes, and i go off to the gym to exercise and maybe stop off at the grocery store on the way home if i feel like it, hoping there is room in my deep freezer for the meat i bought on sale.  how is that even real? seriously, my freezer is too full! what a ridiculous problem....it makes my stomach hurt and i feel guilty.  we also just came through Thanksgiving, where twice (yes twice, not including the leftover meals that followed!) i sat around a table laden with plates of deliciousness, surrounded by my dear family members whom i love, and never once did i experience the grief of losing a loved one to disaster.  no, we were there together, grateful and carefree, while i wondered if i had room for that second helping of stuffing...yes, i'm thankful, so very thankful, but it almost feels like my head is stuck in the sand somewhat, because i'm soooo out of touch with the real agony these Haitians face as they yet again attempt to rebuild from the devastation...i don't know, just wrestling with this lately...and kind of thinking out loud here...which is a scary thing, i know :)

of course there are still things to be done, many ways to help.  it still feels a bit removed for me, i admit (geography is kind of a legit obstacle...it's not like i can just hop in my car, after all), but obviously there are those real people and organizations there now, like right now, and many who were there long before hurricane Matthew and the earthquake of 2010 and the disasters in between.  they are reputable and doing the day-to-day grind of ministering to the hurting and displaced and broken lives they see day after day, with skills and experience and cultural awareness that is so key....

i will provide a few links, and stop rambling for now....check out these websites and consider ways you might want to support these groups in Haiti, as they slug through the hard stuff and step-up with love and care that so many Haitians are so desperate for.  consider the ways you can be an extension of their mission~ prayerful, hands-on in country, financial backing, etc...

Real Hope for Haiti ~ they are kickin' it themselves and their work is nothing short of life-sustaining and life-changing, but they also mention other trusted organizations there on their website. check this post for a more extensive list.

and a few more, 

Heartline Ministries

Apparent Project 

Compassion Canada and their projects in Haiti

rise again, Haiti, rise again...

October!!

oh how i love October.  so many reasons...changing leaves.  falling leaves.  orange pumpkins, white pumpkins.  bubbling baking casseroles.  new recipes.  soups, sauces, muffins, granola, breads...warm kitchen.  pumpkin spiced lattes, or pretty much anything pumpkin spiced (okay, i do draw the line at Twinkies.  who ever decided it was a good idea to mess with a Twinkie?!?).  crisp air.  cool breeze through house.  a/c turned off.  heavy blankets on beds.  flannel sheets.  perfect for sleeping...sweaters, jackets and jeans.  routine of church and school.  fall sports.  kids training for cross country, running their energy stores low.  basketball, hockey, wrestling gearing up to start!  tall corn stalks dry and beige in colour, still standing tall.  restoring some order to house after summer busyness.  sorting, pitching, organizing.  candles scented and glowing with lights dimmed.  first crackling fire in the fireplace.  baseball playoffs (go Jays!).  green lush grass happy to have the scorching summer sun less oppressive.  allergies wind down, mosquitoes disappear.  bursting colour from healthy mum pots.  bumpy gourds.  Thanksgiving with family and delicious recipes enjoyed around a big full table.  full hearts.  and now, a first~ our oldest home for Reading Week.  so nice to sit eight around our table again...even for a bit.  quiet time with God easier to schedule.  catch up with close friends over warm beverages.  all refreshing my spirit and perspective.  cinnamon and spices and homey aromas.  harvested vegetables and fruits.  juicy apples. rosy cheeks and chilly hands from outdoor play.  movies, cards, puzzles.

fall is lovely.  i'm especially thankful for this season every single year.  something about it.  hoping it drags out this year and winter's arrival is delayed as long as possible...

happy October everyone! :) 

yonas update

sweet Yonas...it's been awhile since i mentioned him here.  remember the first entry i posted the day we met first back in 2010 on my first blog?  and a few of the subsequent follow up posts were here and here, the latter being the story of friends who did the unimaginable and tracked him down while in Ethiopia for mission work!  it's been a journey, to be sure.  God has been sooo good.  Yonas has felt our love and care from far, together with the support from a total of seven families here in Canada! so great!  most recently Yonas and I have connected through Facebook, although communication is difficult.  still, it completely warms my heart to be cooking supper and see my phone light up with "Hi" every few weeks or so....so wonderful!  short messages usually~ still, it just takes a few words to somehow intersect our wildly diverse worlds ever so briefly.  across continents and oceans we are able to connect for a moment.  it's a gift.  i hope it will only get easier in time...

here is the latest picture we received from Eyob, the man on the right who helps facilitate the sponsorship.  he is certainly a young man now.  he tells me he is 17 years old!   

if you pray, please remember this young man in your prayers.  please pray for his health, which is apparently stable at the moment, and for his future~ that he would complete school and discover his full potential in a positive way that he loves, and for his emotional and spiritual well-being~ most of all that he would know of God's great love for him, and that he would feel loved and supported by those around him, even without a forever family to call his own.  

i'm also praying we will one day meet again.  you never know, right??

so thankful i can literally rest knowing all of this is in God's sovereign hands, and that He loves Yonas more than we ever could....

those moments you laugh about later....sometimes way later.

i'll set the scene.  come with me, if you will...it's a hot weekend mid to late summer, because goodness knows i can't remember~ weren't they all hot??  early into a glorious Saturday evening. that time of day when the sun blazes hot into our back sun room.  the supper dishes have been cleared, the juicy burgers have been grilled and enjoyed.  the mess remains.  the clean-up begins.  i, the chef, am hot.  maybe because i've been slicing, washing, setting, grilling.  lovingly preparing a weekend meal for my crew and a guest.  i have this warm feeling we moms sometimes get when a nice meal has been created and the time around the table has been refreshing and light and nourishing.  i'm puttering in the kitchen, when i start to notice the temperature in my workspace feels warmer than it should.  the a/c has been on all day and i find myself wondering why i still feel so uncomfortable....i wander over to the register and put my bare foot on top for a moment.  the air is blowing out like usual, but oddly, it doesn't feel cold.  it feels kind of neutral.  strange...

time to summon my dear husband.  "Jeff, i just put my foot on the register and it doesn't feel cold at all."  he checks, he agrees.  down to the basement he goes and i can only imagine the annoyance of being the one to be called on each time something breaks down.  after an inside inspection, he went out the front door to check the actual a/c box at the side of our house.  i knew whatever he saw couldn't have been good when he returned and called our youngest by name into the bedroom.  see, my husband isn't a brand new parent.  this isn't his first "unsolved mystery" involving our precious children.  by now, he knows the most tried and true methods to get kids to speak, and most importantly~ to elicit the truth.  AJ is the easiest to pull details from, especially when his brother isn't standing right there beside him.  and this is the moment Jeff learned the details of the boy's activities prior to supper.  but hey, a thousand words can't do justice to the picture Jeff had the presence of mind to snap when he first laid eyes on the "wood chopping" event Hudson and AJ had participated in a few hours prior....

you're dying to see what he saw, right??  

isn't it lovely?? :)  

by now, Hudson was brought into the line of questioning, and yes, these two darlings had in fact enjoyed a good time with some wood literally hitting the a/c fan as they decided to insert tiny sticks, and then progressively larger, and then progressively thicker sticks in through the slats of the metal grill to be chopped in fine little pieces by the blades of the spinning fan.  how clever!  how fun!  how intensely irritating!  contained within the unit were all the little tiny pieces, as well as the much larger one which had jammed the fan to a complete halt.  that ended the "wood chopping" fun, and so they walked away.  no need to mention this to anyone, of course...sigh....

Jeff cleaned out the wood chips, freed the lodged stick and tried to start up the a/c again.  no deal.  it was in shock, overheated, cooked.  he explained to me, in a surprisingly patient tone (considering i was ready to blow) that the unit was really hot to touch and might have an automatic shut off mechanism and perhaps just needed to cool down for a bit.

being very afraid of the very real possibility that we'd be calling in a serviceman on a weekend (a ridiculously crazy hot weekend), to diagnose and install a brand new shiny unit for several thousand dollars, which is never money just laying around under our mattress or spilling from our drawers or wallets or anywhere, i tried to calm my anger at the sheer madness of the situation.  i hated the thought of Jeff's hard earned wages going to this.  i really felt sooooo frustrated.  i looked at my beautiful boys, and the words of my amazing gym instructor came to mind before i uttered a word..."inhale to prepare"....after a deep inhale breath i very consciously and firmly spoke these words.  "get your pj's on.  it's time for bed.  now."  by now it was 7:45 pm.  this was early for them considering it was a weekend.  i didn't care.  i knew it was smarter than having them up to see my fury.  Hudson knew i meant business.  AJ had one last request, "can't we have a snack??"  ummm....a snack.....noooo....considering our blissful late supper remnants still remained in the uncleaned kitchen, and i knew they were not possibly hungry, i declined his request and suggested they move quickly.  they tucked into bed early (which really was more of a "lay-in-your-briefs-on-top-of-the-bottom-sheet" than a tuck-in) in the very warm bedroom, Hudson on his top-bunk even....we told them to lay there hot and consider their actions carefully.  we talked about thinking over their impulsive ideas before acting, and encouraged them to consider how this had impacted the rest of the sweaty family members.  they were solemn.  it was necessary and good.

i returned to the kitchen, and after another attempt or two, finally the a/c came back to it's glorious life after a half hour or so of cool down.  i was overjoyed.  Jeff was relieved.  we were so thankful to be spared the hassle and expense that we could have faced, this time at least.....

we woke the next day and thankfully our bodies had cooled down and our hearts had warmed up to the two awesome boys whose lives had been spared :).  we love them still.  and it's a good thing they are cute, because with 100% certainty we know this won't be our last adventure with these characters.  it's "a day at a time" around here, that's my working motto!  

already this is a story we can laugh about, so that's good too i'd say!   

wonderland

Canada's Wonderland!

AJ ready for his first roller coaster.  he took it like a champ! proved that day his stomach is not a limiting factor~ only mine is.  my super strong equilibrium has left my body, forever, i suspect...sadly, i discovered i'm not the crazy amusement park person i once was.  running from coaster to coaster and loving every second, unaware of my stomach and its contents appears to be a thing of the past.  fear is not my limitation~ i want to try the latest and greatest rides!  if only my stomach agreed....so, next summer when we go i will plan to hit the biggest rides first.  even if i just get in one for the day.  

still so fun to see my kids and my crazy husband soaking up the adventure...

yep, Jeff, Adam and Hudson won the award for "most fearless".  crazy guys who tried it all!!!

sunshine and a place to rest.  Hannah grabbed the opportunity.

great way to end the summer!

cool pics

just a couple cool pics for today.  summer pics.  the summer pace of July and August is already starting to feel like a distant memory.  we wake earlier these days, the kids catch the school bus and lunches are packed, homework planners are signed each day and after school sports practices have begun....

Hudson gets photo credits for capturing Layla's hair flip.  nicely done!

Adam made an awesome screenshot from a video on this particular day in Watford at the bike jumps, on his 15th birthday. who knew that was an option?!  not me!  good thing for my tech savvy kids.  

oh, and then there's this "first day of school" photo for the fall of 2016.  our first one with just five kids on the front step. sigh....adjusting, but certainly strange.  

grade 8, grade 12, grade 6, grade 10 and grade 4!

it's amazing how they grow when you feed them...no longer the little squirts they used to be.  makes the first morning pic a lot easier though!  

slay it this year, my darlings!  be winsome, gracious people who encourage others and shine right where you're at!  xo

hanging on to summer

well, today is an absolute scorcher.  so summer pics seem most fitting still, here in early September.  even as i sip my first pumpkin spiced latte of the season!!!  because, well, cooler days are coming, that is certain, but who can even handle waiting for this delightful flavour to be paired with typical autumn temps.  not me.

anyway, on this first day of school, i'm reflecting on sweet times spent this summer together with my kids, and their friends.  we are blessed a gazillion times over....

pool time was awesome this summer as it really was so super hot on so many days...

the theatre...with candy.  and these three nuts to my left.  does it get any better? there was something explained to me about holding up the pinkie finger.  i don't remember what it was.  but if Hudson does it, then AJ does too.  that's how he rolls.  you're thinking "that must be challenging from time to time" and yes, you'd be right to think that...it is.  

   

an afternoon game of "shark".  watching for her to appear, spotting her, and then waiting for the inevitable leg grab and drag into the water or full tube tip over....over and over again...

fun times!  it went sooo very fast though!!

her room is tidy

that should be cause for celebration, right?  cuz it's what i thought i'd like.....but maybe i really don't.  a tidy room for this girl means she isn't actually here. don't get me wrong, tidy with her here would be wonderful~ i'd really enjoy that combination~ but that isn't the usual reality.  so tidy only means one thing....she's gone.  as in moved out and in to the post-secondary world that she was so excited to experience and embrace. 

 i'm okay, really.  no real tears shed even.  just some minor welling up in my eye sockets on about five occasions yesterday.  that's it.  i promise.  emotions seem to be right there, sitting just under the surface and ready to leak out at a vulnerable moment.  but for now, i'm mostly just so happy for her.  being there on campus during move-in day was so fun (including a loud and boisterous "get-out-of-the-car-please" chant by her van window, as we were literally surrounded by students and our trunk raided of her belongings while she was escorted to her room).  the energy and vibe was super contagious.  the many students, both first year and upper year students were incredibly welcoming and warm, and i could completely understand her draw to this place.

 so, we settled her into her residence and the cozy space she can call her own for the next eight months.  we took care of a few more loose ends before touring campus a bit more and sharing lunch together.  it was a really fun time for us as parents to share with her.  felt like a gift.  so thankful our own parents could help with our other younger cherubs (not literally, at all, or even a little) so we could be totally present there with her.

and in many ways already there is evidence of God going before her and setting certain things and people in place to allow her to succeed, both academically and spiritually.  now that makes my eyes glaze over.  not a coincidence, not good luck, just God's clear hand of care and love on her life.  like always.

  

 so it becomes her journey now, her accelerated path to becoming an adult version of herself, further discovering what she loves and where she's gifted and what she is passionate about and committed to.  no doubt there will be ups and downs, highs and lows.  that's where the refining happens.  

so while i washed her bedding and remade her bed today in her much tidier room, i refused to let myself linger too long in the nostalgic "my curly haired first born is all grown up" mode...no point in getting stuck there.  for now, feeling at peace and grateful for the chance to cheer her on from the sidelines as this part of her journey unfolds.  my heart is full!

pay day

this summer was so great for Adam!  he had his first real job that involved hard work, commitment, endurance and good old fashioned "stick-to-it-ness".  Adam hit the corn fields head on.  corn detasseling row after row after row.  and just a few more rows on top of that!  for three weeks (with only two days off) he woke early to be at the bus pickup location at 6:45, with his prepared lunch cooler containing his many calories and fluids, and he slugged it out. crazy enough, his first day happened to be the day a heat warning was issued in our area, and for the duration of the corn season there were many more brutally hot days to follow.  i was so impressed with his attitude.  i don't brag a lot here about my kids, and i think i'm pretty realistic in life about their strengths and weaknesses, but this did kind of blow me away.  i really do want to look back on this summer, and i want him to be able to do the same...when i picked him up each day he was pretty quiet, kind of tired, but never really complaining or moaning about the job~ just answering my questions and happy to be in the a/c of the vehicle, i think.  i'm certain i complained more for him than he did for himself.  he'd tell me how many acres of corn the crew covered, how many kids quit or were fired that day, and that was about it.  he'd often get home and swim in the pool, and then be refreshed to go right back out to bike with friends or go here or there, never tucking in early, never wanting to miss anything fun.  

all the while, he had a plan.  he knew if he had perfect attendance there was an extra dollar per hour added to his wage.  he also knew he'd likely finish with enough to save a nice chunk as well as buy a new mountain bike.  so, his down time also allowed him to sit at the computer and research the brand and model of mountain bike he'd eventually settle on.  he logged 114 hours total, and he got the bonus as well.  that's a lot of corn rows...

about ten days after the job was finished his pay cheque arrived in the mail.  talk about delayed gratification~ another valuable life lesson!  that was about as excited as i'd seen him so far.  Adam's "excited" look is about as toned down and mellow as you can ever get.  a bit like Jeff in that way too.  he feels it kinda deep down! :)  so, we made a fun trip to the bank, and i teased him that we had better leave discreetly because of the giant wad of cash he held in a brown envelope in his pocket. i acted as his security, and we made a dash to the car...not actually though... 

well, today he and his dad picked up his brand new Trek 2017 matte black mountain bike (which, coincidentally, he helped assemble during his first day working at the local bike shop).  he's pretty happy with it, and we are happy for him!  more than that, i love what this summer has accomplished.  it has reinforced our family motto of "do hard things", as well as the importance of honouring commitments with a strong work ethic~ right through to completion.  nothing like enjoying the results in the end!

when asked if he plans to hit next year's corn season, it's a pretty quick "no" with a shake of his head.  can't say i blame him.  once is probably enough.  but so thankful it happened this summer and proud of him too.  

beachin' it

it really is hard to beat the beach at dusk.  waves rolling in only makes it even better.  so refreshing and so pretty.  so fun and so free.  so summer.....

that's Hudson's dark body being tossed around in the picture below. you can really only see his head.

AJ's little brown butt was super sandy and plastered with pebbles when we returned home.  clear evidence of fun had along the shore.  the best kind of fun.

walking the pier...

i've been thinking about where we live, and how blessed we are to live in a city with a beautiful shoreline, river and waterfront activities all summer long.  sometimes it's easy to take that for granted until you notice it from the vantage point of a tourist.  they seem so impressed and in awe with the beauty of it as they snap their pictures and soak it in. we've been trying to soak it up the same way this summer. the sunsets have been breathtaking.

enjoy what's left of this amazing summer!!