this song

a bit of a gut wrenching parenting song, especially if you are one, and you've maybe even lived out the scenes in this music video.  because honestly, you know, i expected the blissful and authentic joy parts, the relentless "wanting the very best" for our kids, the hilarious and fun parts, the beaming with pride parts, the wild love and endless snapshots of family life that you never ever want to forget (thus this humble blog).  

still, any seasoned and honest parent will also tell you this grind is tough.  and maybe i didn't contemplate that very much before our babies arrived... yes, it really hurts sometimes.  it exasperates you and empties you on many other days.  it goes sooooo very fast, while other days literally drag...and your heart gets wrung out more times than you'd dare to count.  from day one you sustain, like literally keep alive a wee bundle of baby love as this tiny child utterly depends on your care, and then slowly but surely as you teach and guide and instill the really important parts, you release he or she to the great vast world that awaits, with all it's horror and wonder.  you love the same deep unending way, but you set them free to discover their own journeys.  you make mistakes, so many mistakes along the way, but you do your absolute best because it is not lost on you that you have been entrusted the greatest of gifts.  so you press on and you pray.  and you grit your teeth and laugh and cry and collapse in the dark each night, wondering if you did enough.  God strengthens you, and you know you'd never make it without His care.  and you wake up and do it all over again.  you try to lead with Love, you try to model Christ, you try to speak life-giving words.  sometimes you blow it, many days in fact, and you hope that through your weaknesses somehow the undercurrent of love is still enough.

yet even so~ and this isn't just the right, very cliché thing to say, it is 100% my highest calling.  the very highest.  this is it.  i'd take it all~ every single day of this journey, over not ever being called to parent.  that would be wayyy too dull anyway... biologcial parent, foster parent, adoptive parent~ thankful for all of it...

so, here's a nice song. enjoy! :)

Fall On Me

by NEEDTOBREATHE and featuring Carly Pearce

friends

we don't need that many, really.  just a few really good ones and we're happy.  as time passes, Jeff and I become more and more aware of the treasured gift of "pick up where you left off", always consistent, "there for you" friends.  friends who love to laugh and reminisce and hold each other up.  friends who pray, challenge, celebrate and share all of life with you in a way that inspires you to be stronger and better than you were without them.  

these four are those kind.  we love them.  and our time spent as six is too infrequent, but we're grateful for every chance we have to soak up a visit.   

a good one

sure liked stumbling upon this quote at the start of a fresh new year.  i do not know who originally said it, but wow, it's truth.  

trusting God with the next chapter. 

here's to 2024!

❤

2023 wrap~ part two

 Christmas 2023.  always lots to prepare, a whirlwind of all the usual things, and somehow i always feel a twinge of sadness when it's over.  it's a special time of year, and again, i did my best to soak it up.  here, a few photo highlights, thanks mostly to Jeff and the girls who get rightful credit for taking 98% of all the photos around here.  thank goodness they do.  because usually i take none.

below are a few of the sights, the tastes, the connections, the gifts, the cherished treasures, the loves i'll take away from this season, Christmas 2023...

not shown here is the equally great quality time spent with Jeff's side of the family.  if any pictures surface of that day, i'll add them.  it was fun and delicious and special, once again.  

it's always nice to connect with loved ones.  always wonderful to celebrate all that Christmas means.  the added joy of sharing Christmas with a toddler and his awestruck and adorable perspective only makes it more sweet.  

grateful for sure.

2023 wrap

 after a wee break over Christmas, it's nice to be back in the chair, capping off the end of 2023 with a few more memories to record.  i might spend a couple weeks on this before moving into the new year...

in short, it's this.  i am grateful.  there were highs, there were lows, and God carried me, and us, through the waves and calm waters too.  there has been learning and growth, and stumbling and getting back up too.  there has been joy and peace.  there has been life and love.  there has been God's strong and steady hand.

here are a few pics to highlight November and December...i like to think of them as little joy bursts.

this little ham, always my kitchen "right hand"

i impressed myself with this beauty salad. it tasted delicious!

Layla caught these twinkly eyes

a pretty new truck. not shown here is the grinning husband :)

a stubborn Christmas cactus, finally with five buds that didn't drop off before opening...i've watched two open fully so far with dazzling pinkish-red beauty.  

big and little kids trimming the tree.  special.

much focus

two loves

isn't it soooo pretty?  who knew a bloom could be so exciting?!

if i can just figure out how this happened (less water, more water??) maybe i'll get more blooms to open next year...

always so much to be grateful for.