thoughts

been pondering lots about life this summer.  the seasons, the highs and lows, the things i learn along the way, the things i have yet to learn.  the undoubtable truths, the fragile parts that still remain true, regardless of my particular state.  i said recently to a friend that i'd been doing way more "leaning in" than i ever used to. pressing in closer to attempt to hear God's thoughts on the very subjects i spend time contemplating.  i love how God honours that effort.  i never feel like he's looking at my shaky or flighty temperament and thinking "c'mon lady, haven't we already been over this?!  like 10 years ago, two months ago, and many, many times in between?"  he truly carries me, and when days are hard or sad or even fear-filled- i eventually remember His word and those promises spoken...

here's just one...

Isaiah 41:10 in the NIV says "Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."  

isn't that fridge worthy?  especially in this crazy year of global uncertainty? not to mention those unique and personal trials and painful losses you and i all encounter?  

still, i falter. still, i fear. still, i'm shaken.  and what is God's response?  well, like that of a Father, of course....but a perfect one.  he pours out more grace, more love, more picking me up and lightening my load.  he sends more timely reminders that he knows and he's working even when i don't see a way through, and he's still God and that is really all my weary heart needs to keep in laser focus.  why is that so hard for me? sigh...

so...i attempt to clear some of the senseless clutter and fill my mind with more of His truths, and stay in step with Him...wash, rinse, repeat~ you know? seems elementary but apparently i'm still learning.  sigh again.

so i share the songs below because they have been such an encouragement to me.  for God to bend low and hear my inner groans and meet me right there in my messy state of raw emotion is really no surprise.  it is after all, just the kind of God he is...he is faithful, he is good- always, and he is here when i'm seeking and grappling and asking hard questions. i hope in some way these lyrics meet you too, in your most vulnerable places, and wherever life finds you. 

"it's in the empty tomb, it's on the rugged cross, your death-defying love, is written in your scars, you'll never quit on me, you'll always hold my heart, cause that's the kind of God you are"

God You Are by We Are Messengers

 Famous For (I believe) by Tauren Wells & Jenn Johnson

Even When It Hurts by Hillsong United