nostalgic

" ...longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition..."

guilty.  that's me. especially when Jeff has these wonderful photo memories pop up on his new fancy schmancy computer.  or i stumble across old pictures when deep cleaning (which doesn't happen often, let me tell you).  i especially loved this pocket of time, this season of parenting...i'm not shy about saying so.  having a crew of small children taking up my every day was an opportunity i'll always be grateful for.  i chose it.  i willingly left my career to devote 100% of my energy to the role of "mom".  it was crazy busy and totally tiring, but also so fun and rewarding.  all those birthday parties, sporting events, piano lessons, homework, speech meets, homemade waffles, vacations, Halloween costumes, etc....

it's no secret that i've struggled much more with the more recent years of my parenting journey.  my kids know it too.  but i've never forgotten what my nursing instructor once emphasized to me as we provided care to a brand new baby.  she was talking about parenting and stressed how absolutely crucial it was that i remember to enjoy the journey, if i was ever lucky enough to become a mother.  she said "be conscious of each stage, they truly grow so fast..."

i'm trying to be more present, to live more in the moment. to cherish each stage as it comes.  i'm definitely not always succeeding, but my heart really wants to!  somehow these throwback pictures give me more resolve to press on with steadfast love and presence, and they're a beautiful, vivid reminder of what's at stake.  so good to see these pics.  it energizes me in a way... 

these six (and the extras we love) are such a gift.  so thankful God's got all of them in His hands, and that He has taken me this far in the journey.  even before it all started, He knew me and all my weaknesses and limitations~ and still chose me to be their mom. that's huge.  it moves me and humbles me.  even when the weight of the responsibility presses down, i'm never alone in this.  

so grateful ❤