2019

something about the promise of this budding bulb drew me to it as i enter a brand new year.  a discounted after Christmas Amaryllis that holds promise of growth and beauty and life.  

nothing much yet, barely worth a second glance even.  simply and slowly, however, it's cutting through the dark soil~ the dirt, the ugly.   it soaks up the water i offer and reaches purposefully for the sun.  it will be particularly thirsty as it begins the active stage of growing, says the store provided tag.  i read that it will bend toward the light and therefore the pot will need to be turned regularly to keep the plant growing upright...each day i wake and check for signs of change, hoping my attentive care will result in a beautiful bloom in time.  it seems slow and i wonder "am i giving it enough water, am i watering it too much??"

this Amaryllis is not that much different than my life.  lots of dry hard soil that needs to be softened, readied for growth.  parts that are even quite ugly, unattractive and dull.  parts that are needing redemption, and parts that can feel the suffocating weight of sin, inside and out.  parts of me that long for more of the grace of Jesus to cut through the dirt and rain on the dry and cracked places of my heart.  for beauty to come from the slow process of hard growth.  for more solid strength of character with roots reaching deep.  and more and more i wish to have the posture of leaning in to Jesus each and every day.  waiting, trusting, hoping through 2019...