i remember as a little girl learning how to properly wash dishes and wipe down counters. i remember the very specific way my parents taught me to wring out a wet cloth. not just with a one-handed squeeze, but a two handed, proper wring out with hands twisting in opposite directions until the cloth was left void of any extra water...the dishcloth was simply damp, and a really great tool for counter clean up and crumb gathering...
lately, i've been thinking about the process of being "squeezed dry" by life...and admittedly, my heart is feeling a little wrung out. just being honest. i'm not alone, i know that...i've spoken to other moms and grandmas who echo these feelings. especially in the season we approach of fall~ a season of change, as our kids settle back into a school routine and we have quiet time again to process the warm wildness of summer~ its happenings and memories.
honestly, i wouldn't have it any other way. a sign of a full life...from saying goodbye to our oldest, entering year two of a university program she loves, and seeing her settle in and maximize the opportunities around her~ it's a pretty contagiously fun and happy existence she leads...all while celebrating the birthdays of five of my six dear kids, contemplating what the new year ahead holds for each of them, to letting go of a precious baby boy we have all come to adore in this home. all eight of us showered "D" in crazy amounts of love, and he soaked it up, every last snuggle. Jeff called him "candle wax" for the way he seemed to mold into the arms and body of whoever held him...i truly gave him everything i had, all while preparing my heart for the inevitable goodbye, and i watched each of our kids and dear husband do the same. they loved without restraint, and it blessed my heart to see that. they get it....still, off he went as we knew he would, taking a small piece of our hearts with him... i long to know that he is okay and that his future is secure and love-filled, and i have no answers....i may never know...that's the tough part. we pray, we hope, we trust knowing that God loves him more than i/we ever could...
so, all that to say, feeling like my heart has been wrung out is surely to be expected! i want to continue to feel deeply through this one life I've been given~ with all of its ups and downs and highs and lows. i'll use these quieter days of September to refresh my spirit a bit, to seek the face of Jesus more and to wait on God for what lies ahead...
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