blog break

 i'm going to take a few weeks break over Christmas holidays, to soak up the season and the extra people who are home.  

before i break, i had to share these words from my favourite author, Ann Voskamp,  so timely.

"Someone told me that this Advent has felt more like a Lent—a grieving.

You don’t have to close your eyes to see how the news has been screaming for months & we are all exhausted & bruised.

How in the world does a weary world rejoice?

We may not know why God doesn’t stop all the different kinds of suffering—but we definitely know it’s not because He’s indifferent.

God is so moved by our being entangled in suffering—that He moved Himself into our world & entangled Himself in the suffering with us. God with us.

God knows suffering.

He chose to be born in the middle of a genocide.

God knows suffering.

He chose to be born as a minority, a refugee.

God knows suffering.

He chose to come from a place where people said no good thing could come from.

God knows suffering.

He chose to be poor. He chose to absorb pain. He chose to be powerless.

God penetrates the ache of our world through the willing yes of a poor, unwed teen. In both the Incarnation & the Resurrection, God reveals Himself first to the dismissed & disregarded & dissed.

God chose the first witnesses to both His nativity, & to His nailed hands, to be the very people who suffered because they were regarded as suspect, small, sketchy.

Because the point is:

Christmas is the beginning of the end of all suffering.

“Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God.

The road’s been weary, but we can rest beside the road, beside the boarding gate, beside each other, & listen to how the angels sing.

Christmas says that everyone needed Christ to come down from heaven & carry every single one of us, every single step of the way back to heaven. Christmas says that we all need rescuing, we all need a Savior.

This is what His glory does—like a river, His glory in the highest runs down to meet us who are at our lowest, those left out in the field, those who’ve lost our flock, lost our way, lost our hope, His glory in the highest always runs down to meet us who are at our lowest.

This is what lets us sing like the angels do... even now."

so good, right?! (you know when people ask the question, "if you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be?" my answer- always- "Ann Voskamp") 

and who doesn't love an amazing version of O Holy Night?!  this one by Carrie Underwood.  

Merry Christmas!

Christmas...it's here

 a small collection of a few of my Christmas favourites this year...

not sure about you, but the heaviness of a long pandemic (yep, still going) is real.  add to that hard diagnoses for many, lost loved ones, addiction, brokenness all around- parents, kids, families, and overall a misguided and deeply hurting world.  a world distracted by self-advancement, status, noise and temporary material gain. 

Christmas is here at the perfect time, isn't it?  December 2021 finds us desperate for Christmas!  Christ in Christmas, precisely...if only we all, myself included, caught more of the true message of this season.

just imagine...there, in the stillness of night, God escorted His only Son into the humblest of beginnings.  to capture a world in utter lostness, then and now, needing to rest weary eyes on the face of a Saviour.  no one would have orchestrated the arrival of a baby King as God had, that much is sure.  yet God knew exactly what He was doing.  He knew that rustic Bethlehem stable, surrounded by unassuming livestock as guests of honour, would be divinely perfect.  yes, that understated and underwhelming entrance made Jesus so much more relatable, approachable, and exactly what our heavy hearts longed to behold.  the Messiah, baby Jesus was finally here and accessible in the flesh, in a way our eyes and hearts could embrace.  

(chalkboard art by my talented Layla...)

Emmanuel. God with us.  Emmanuel. God still with us. 

God With Us by We Are Messengers

and another...

He Shall Reign Forevermore by Chris Tomlin

and one more

Noel by Lauren Daigle

Luke 2:8-20

tired boys

 

after a long day there's not much better than a warm snuggle and a snooze on the couch with a few videos that baby C. loves so much.  a cute pair.

i hate it when i post things out of order

 but some moments are worth returning to.  somehow i missed a blog post about this little lion and all his Halloween cuteness.  had it post it late, for history's sake!

i'm quite certain he was the sweetest, most affectionate lion there ever was!

him

 sweet baby C has the most kissable toes.  he also has the cutest curls on the back of his head.  he's pure sweetness and when he grabs my leg and looks up at me with his hazel eyes, well, i can't help myself.  he's not a small baby anymore at all though, he's a busy, chatty toddler learning to navigate language and emotions and little legs that run.

we all know the cliché phrase about foster care and child welfare cases.  we hear it often, "the system is broken".  well, it actually is.  and this little fella is directly impacted by a system that is currently failing him, in my opinion at least.  prayers always welcomed for movement and action in his case so he can inch closer to forever, wherever and however that looks.  praying decision makers have wisdom and that God's very best plan for him rises to the top and that his heart is prepared for the days to come.  

in the meantime, we love you like crazy, little man. ❤

photo credits to Studio In The Attic 

champs

 i'd say it's extra sweet when your first "normal" sport's pursuit post-pandemic (aka "the year and a bit of lockdown and no organized anything, let alone your favourite sports") clinches the championship game and wins the season overall...seriously, this football season was really sweet for AJ, and he was soooo much fun to watch in his element.  his determination on the field is real and he's generally fearless as he chases down the opponents.  so great buddy, proud of the heart and soul you put into each game...

here are a few pics of the final game, and the stunning win. 

Sarnia Sturgeons 15, Vaughan Rebels 7.

some amazing professional action shots were taken during the game as well.  once we purchase those i may add them here, if i can remember, of course.

Congrats kid!!

The Shack

i recently watched The Shack a second time on Netflix.  i'd previously read the book, years ago actually, by William Paul Young.  i know to some the book and movie are controversial.  i do not wish to wade into that today.  why?  well i guess i have always known both the story and movie were a mere human depiction and interpretation of God, the trinity, and the relationship our Maker desires to have with His children.  quite simply, they are the author and producer's best attempt to describe and depict God, which obviously is limited and barely scratching the surface, at best.  for me, however, the experience of sitting quiet and still in the pages and frames before me was a transformative moment, each time actually...the way The Shack tackles tough questions about pain and loss and evil in this world.  it's bold and brave and the answers, equally captivating, are covered in love and grace and understanding of our suffering and brokenness.  so beautifully done. all in a way that honours what i believe God's Word says about these matters too.  and here's no surprise, i weep each time i read or watch.  yep, it's what i do!  there's just something about that reminder that God is with me in the mess of life, and never ever considers bailing on me...

anyway, you decide for yourself, and land wherever you think best.  i'm okay with that.  i just wanted to put it out there in case it was something that would encourage your heart too...

the Spartan

a few weeks ago this cool memory happened.  five kilometres and thirty obstacles on Blue Mountain from start to the trademark firepit finish.  Hannah and Jeff conquered their first (and likely not their last) Spartan Race in Collingwood, Ontario. i wasn't there so i'll mostly let the pictures tell the story.  both say they had a great time, and the challenges were, well...challenging!  so fun for them and i totally love that they completed it together.

below, Hannah crawling under the barbed wire, Jeff must have skipped that challenge because that dude isn't him ;)

there are days...

 days when it feels so good to be married to a skilled (not to mention handsome!) physiotherapist.  this day was one of them.  Alemayehu was at football practice and everything went smoothly.  that is until after practice when another player challenged him to a spontaneous race.  somehow in that brief foot race he hurt his knee in some fluke kind of way.  

Jeff brought him home and assessed him right there on the kitchen table.  so thankful for that, because had i been alone i probably would have made the trek to ER for further assessment.  

anyway, he spent a couple of days on crutches, but the knee seems to be healing nicely for now and the injury doesn't appear serious.  thankful.  and yes, i sanitized the table after his sweaty feet were there! :)

they clean up nicely

 all pretty and decked out for a pretty special wedding recently.  it really was so much fun and nice to have our older two girls home together, at the same time.  sadly, Adam was called far away on a job so he was missing that day.  we made the best of it.  thankful for my beautiful kids~ and so struck by how fast they are growing up.  surreal actually.

and then there's their handsome father who really is my better half...

thanksgiving

i heard a quote that i liked, "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." there's solid truth for sure.

 

gratitude season.  love it!  thanks Layla for making truth visible in our home.  always so pretty! just like you!

rescue

 Lauren Daigle...again, her music speaks right into my core, my mind, my heart.  when i'm bombarded with messages of defeat or hopelessness or evil lies from the enemy of a lost culture that threaten to rattle and shake me, i hear this. 

"i will send out an army to find you in the middle of the darkest night, it's true, i will rescue you..."

just wow...

and then this...

"i will never stop marching to reach you in the middle of the hardest fight, it's true, i will rescue you..."

and He does, every time.  and i trudge along and get back up and press on in this life that sometimes feels real heavy.  in those moments, when i'm most vulnerable with God, He meets me there.  in the gritty details and the real-life struggles.  when i try to solve tomorrow, next week or next year, He reminds me to stay present in today.  to simply leave the rest with Him.  it's a daily calculated exercise i must practice, but admittedly don't always remember (and that never goes well).  even still, He sends daily graces, deeply personal moments that cause joy and gratitude to rise up when least expected.  and i remember who holds me, who holds them, and who holds the future. 

Rescue

❤

nostalgic

" ...longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition..."

guilty.  that's me. especially when Jeff has these wonderful photo memories pop up on his new fancy schmancy computer.  or i stumble across old pictures when deep cleaning (which doesn't happen often, let me tell you).  i especially loved this pocket of time, this season of parenting...i'm not shy about saying so.  having a crew of small children taking up my every day was an opportunity i'll always be grateful for.  i chose it.  i willingly left my career to devote 100% of my energy to the role of "mom".  it was crazy busy and totally tiring, but also so fun and rewarding.  all those birthday parties, sporting events, piano lessons, homework, speech meets, homemade waffles, vacations, Halloween costumes, etc....

it's no secret that i've struggled much more with the more recent years of my parenting journey.  my kids know it too.  but i've never forgotten what my nursing instructor once emphasized to me as we provided care to a brand new baby.  she was talking about parenting and stressed how absolutely crucial it was that i remember to enjoy the journey, if i was ever lucky enough to become a mother.  she said "be conscious of each stage, they truly grow so fast..."

i'm trying to be more present, to live more in the moment. to cherish each stage as it comes.  i'm definitely not always succeeding, but my heart really wants to!  somehow these throwback pictures give me more resolve to press on with steadfast love and presence, and they're a beautiful, vivid reminder of what's at stake.  so good to see these pics.  it energizes me in a way... 

these six (and the extras we love) are such a gift.  so thankful God's got all of them in His hands, and that He has taken me this far in the journey.  even before it all started, He knew me and all my weaknesses and limitations~ and still chose me to be their mom. that's huge.  it moves me and humbles me.  even when the weight of the responsibility presses down, i'm never alone in this.  

so grateful ❤

mutual love

 these two sure love eachother.  not hard to understand why.  AJ pours a lot of time and effort into this precious boy.  it's sweet to see their relationship deepen.

baby C knows AJ's name, and it was one of the first ones he said.  it sounds more like "JJ" when he says it, but it's really clear who he's talking about.  thankful for AJ's care and attention he showers on this boy.  it's helpful to me for sure but also so formative and important for baby.  he's going to be a great dad one day.  

sure keeps me on my toes

 this kid does. not. stop. he's go go go all day long.  and he's determined to reach new levels and heights, quite literally.  he climbs up into his own highchair now, for goodness' sake!

caught him on this particular day scouting out the fruit bowl.  

sure do love him, shenanigans and all!

school is back

 these cuties are back in class.  after a really good summer, all things considered, they woke early today (felt really early) to catch their respective buses and embark on new learning adventures.  Layla, doing a the victory lap "12 x" year, Hudson grade 11 and Alemayehu grade 9.  mind blowing....somehow this happened and for the first time in twenty years i have no kids in elementary school...no more hot lunch days, no recess and no indoor shoes.  can't even believe it.  

so naturally lots of prayers for our whole bunch this year.  thinking of the three oldest too.  one still a student in London and the other two embarking on new career opportunities today and in another week. 

still, this morning it was completely refreshing to sit on my couch in silence (total silence!! :) baby was still asleep!) and have some quiet time and ask God to lead and guide my kids this whole year through.  it was peaceful to leave my deepest cares at His feet, knowing He loves them even more than i do.  and that's a lot. 

and to my six~ i'm not gonna lie, the time to myself today with only baby C. felt easy and light and honestly, like a very necessary break.  but also know that all day long my thoughts were with you.  each one,  funny how that works...i sure do love you to pieces and pray this is an amazing year!  i'm trusting God with your journeys.  2021-2022 advice you ask?  same as last year...haha...choose well, rise up and be great, and have fun! ❤

dream job

another summer of lifeguarding at the city pool and local beach has come to an end.  Layla has had a great time and hardly considered it work actually.  so glad she could experience the rewards of all those endless hours of swimming lessons, rain or shine, where swim strokes and rescue techniques were drilled into her head over and over before the written and practical exams.  

nice to see that all three of our girls have enjoyed jobs like this over the years.  so good, for both memories and life skills.  hopefully more of the same next summer!

the "hard launch"

wow.  what a crazy week.  our oldest, dear Joelle, made a pretty big move this week.  and to be clear, she has already been launched from our nest for over a year already.  but somehow that transition felt more like a "soft launch".  she had remained in Hamilton after graduating, where she'd been for four years of university. honestly, it felt much the same in my "mother's brain", almost as though she was still away at school and she was easily accessible for regular visits home.  perhaps that's what made it easier to accept.  

well, that all changed this week as she and her sister embarked on a monumental and exciting road trip west.  joelle packed all her clothing and belongings she could fit into her car and started trekking a kilometre at a time closer to her new beginning, the new chapter that awaits.  Vancouver, British Columbia.  and honestly, i'm really excited for her.  both Jeff and i are.  it's the perfect time of life when responsibilities are a bit less demanding to seek the adventure and new opportunities that are there to be had.  

here at 5:00 am on the morning they left.  they are spirited and independent, and i sure do adore them...

Thunder Bay campground~ first night~ never fun when this sign greets you at the office upon arrival.  sure did make for a funny text and phone exchange, however.  jeff made sure they knew that it was really only the slowest runner who needed to be concerned.

well after dark they set up their tent and hoped for the best.

the car and picnic table were strategically placed to maximize their safety while sleeping.  apparently it must have worked.

Alberta was amazing, i'm told.

that turquoise water...unreal 

camping at Whistler.

it was super fun watching their journey.  the texts and pictures and funny stories had us as parents saying more than once how thankful we were that they could make these memories as sisters.  unforgettable moments that happen and undoubtedly forge deeper connections between those who share them.  i love that Hannah could experience the cross-Canada venture too, and support her sister at the same time. so neat...

and so they arrived, safe and sound.  in a few short days Joelle will start her new job and move into her apartment~ all on the same day.  yikes.  not to worry though.  both Hannah and Joelle have proven how strong and adaptable they are once again.  this trip reinforced that for sure.  

Joelle, you will be just fine.  we'll be praying and certainly cheering you on from afar.  my heart may feel a wee bit wrung out, but don't be mistaken, i'm also super excited for you.  shine where you are, make a lasting difference with the skills and gifts you've been given, and find joy in the journey!  oh, and facetime often please. :) ❤

good friends

so much i could say about these two.  i won't lay it all out here.  well.....just a line or two maybe ;)... 

doing life together with L&T is one of the biggest gifts.  they are genuine and hilarious and supportive.  their hearts are sooooo good.  they strive to be like Jesus in endless ways, and that is inspiring and so beautiful to witness up close.  i always tease L that she is the female version of Jeff.  she really is.  probably part of the reason i like her so much.  i guess they are cousins too, after all.

deep and enduring friendships~ the very kind that Jeff and I have both said mean even more to us as time passes and we get older.  those people who are consistent fixtures in our life, who love us regardless of where we are at.  with them, picking up where we left off always feels easy and warm, no matter the passage of time.  plus, the "laugh until you cry" part is sooo good for the soul.  incredibly grateful. 

i'm a bit blurry in the photo, but i still had to post it because we just don't have many of these picture memories with them.  gotta love the hilarious photo bomb by the musician.

this boy...

he's got our hearts like the stuffed "lammie" has his...

sweet baby C, you are a joy to love. ♥

July

 July left in a bit of a hurry.  one whole month of summer gone...it really went fast.  August is here and there are a few things i wanted to give thanks for before getting too lost in today!  first, a pic of some glorious summer deliciousness.  

yep, summer plums and peaches are cheery and yummy and a true sign that we are well into long and hot summer days...not to mention the once again steady stream of garden produce Dad keeps bringing to us...zucchini, lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes...

July brought a much needed vacation for most of our family, and allowed us to reconnect with some extended family too!  

football practice resumed for AJ, and this is a big deal because he really does love this sport.  so nice to have a place to go and some disciplined practice time with the hope of fall games ahead...fingers crossed.

Hudson has now become the fifth kid in our family to join the McDonald's crew.  so thankful he has this opportunity to learn new skills and make some money too.  a timely answer to prayer and so far he's enjoying the job and the skills he's acquiring...

Jeff enjoyed two weeks off.  one week to escape to a cottage and one week to be home for some rest and time to complete lots of odd jobs he'd been waiting to get to.  so good.

Layla finally got an open appointment and completed her G2 successfully after months of waiting...so happy for her to have this behind her.  i remember well the feeling of driving alone for the first while.  it was pretty freeing for sure.  

grateful and blessed.