my baby

how is it that my baby is six??  stepping out into life with the confidence of a "big kid".  he's loving grade one, blowing bubbles, reading first words, losing teeth, talking about the earth circling the sun :), running cross country, finally agreeing to practice riding his bike with no training wheels (thanks Hannah!) and just growing up.....waaayyyyyy tooooooo fast......sigh....

he woke on his birthday yesterday and walked into the kitchen.  daddy gave him birthday greetings and AJ matter-of-factly announced "i feel older".  it was funny.  and true.  he seems older.  he may still be physically tiny, but i can see the changes in his personality and the way he's embracing all the new opportunities that come with being six...

 

 

the "Batter Up" cake was AJ's choice, as he wishes to start baseball next summer just like his big brother Hudson.  it was super funny when the girls and i picked up the cake from a local grocery store bakery.  they'd misread the order form when putting the message on the cake top.  it read "Happy 6th Birthday BAJ".  Joelle noticed it first, and the flustered lady offered to fix it by covering the "B" with sprinkles.  we all still noticed the extra letter, but AJ was wonderfully oblivious.  even when we called him "BAJ" this weekend. :)

 

i know i say it often, maybe sometimes even as an important reminder for myself during the nuttiness of life.  there is no greater gift than our six children.  this sweet boy included.  from a little wood and mud house in the rural countryside of southern Ethiopia to my heart and our home.  only God...

happy birthday, Alemayehu Jeffrey!  you are so loved!

this makes me smile

i might turn the title above into a recurring theme on this blog.  where every so often i mention a moment, share a quote from my kids, or post a pic that literally made me smile.  it won't necessarily be the first week of every month (although, the "type A" in me would feel better doing it that way :)) or even just once a month.  it will randomly appear just when these life experiences come up and are worthy of sharing.  time is whizzing by, so verryyyyy fast.  i want to freeze frame the awesome memories that sometimes are overshadowed by the mundane or yucky. 

one such moment is seen in the pictures below.  Adam saved birthday money and scoured the Internet for the right bike that suited his wants/needs and, of course, budget.  we ordered the bike, tracked it online as it made its way to Port Huron, and last Friday we crossed the bridge to pick it up.  it came only partially assembled, but this "engineer-minded" child of mine welcomed the chance to finish building his new, burnt-orange BMX bike.

 

 

it was a pleasure to watch him. it made me smile. he wanted very little help from his dad, who offered, but instead preferred to systematically assemble his new treasure late into the evening. his sister was asked to hold the handle bars while they were secured in place. it was sweet to see.

 

happy riding, Adam! 

seven

this is one of those nights i soooo wish i had blogged years earlier than i started.  i wish i'd known to try.  i wish i could go back and relive the moments in sharper focus.  i blogged a bit about it last year, but not with the same details.  i decided they needed to be written.
this is a significant anniversary for our family.  this day.  and the next.  seven years ago Jeff and i were settling into a Miami hotel, with butterflies of anticipation (me, not Jeff~ which i know you know by now! :)) and emotion at the thought of stepping onto Haitian soil, the birth country of our son we were soon to meet.  wow, even now that brings back so many of the feelings that filled my mind during that time.  what had seemed like the longest two years ever had finally come to the homestretch.  the adoption journey was almost complete.  we were just a few short hours away from Hudson now, trying to sleep, with ocean waters separating us from this boy we'd fallen in love with from afar.  each month (while we waited to travel) we'd watched him grow up a little bit more, getting cuter and more expressive and healthier looking with each update.  the orphanage updates had gone from delightful and wonderful to somewhat painful as each month passed by.  we ached to have him home.  to take our own pictures of him.  to see his smile light up our family photos.  then finally, there was word.  the email from LaDawn (love this girl!) at GLA had the most amazing subject line~ "PACK YOUR BAGS!!!"  pack we had, and there we were now part way there, loaded with donations and baby items for our new son. 
waking the next day, September 11th, 2006 had its own range of emotions.  especially flying from a US airport where  9/11 remained at the forefront of so many American's thoughts.  we boarded our flight and made the final trek to Port au Prince.  Haiti was breathtaking and devastating, all at the same time.  truly a paradox of both, and i struggled to take it all in.  we slowly made our way up the mountain towards the orphanage, but not without incident.  first, the dilemma with the armed security guard appointed to safely get us from point A to B.  it didn't exactly go as planned, and there was legitimate concern outside of the airport about whether this buff, firearm-carrying Haitian was the right guy, or some impostor who spotted the "deer in the headlights" foreigners and wanted to snatch us for ransom.  shortly into the commute our fears were allayed when conversation with another occupant revealed he had been hired by GLA to get us safely to Hudson.  shortly after we had car trouble and had to wait for another vehicle to pick us up, all while still within the "less secure" part of PaP.  it made for a good story once safely back in Canada, but it was mildly stressful at the time. 
but then, the moment we pulled up to the mint green gates of God's Littlest Angels, the months of waiting and wondering and wishing and dreaming~ well, it all went away as i soaked in the moment and was fully present, fully aware of how precious this sweet experience was.  thankfully, even seven years later it remains clear in my mind.  i'm grateful for that.  Jeff and i got inside the compound and attempted to unload our luggage from the back of the SUV.  the GLA staff met us outside and said "no, no...let us do that...you go and meet your son."  wow....we stepped inside and there was this perfectly scrumptious baby, 19 months old but still quite small, sitting with LaDawn in pale green overalls over top of a cream t-shirt.  she said in Creole (Kreyol) something like"go see your mama and papa".  he toddled over and i scooped him up.  he was serious and subdued (imagine! :)) yet willing and sweet.  on LaDawn's recommendation Hudson even puckered up and kissed my cheek.  tears were flowing.  he looked at us like we were odd.  we settled into our simple room there at the orphanage and started the fun process of getting to know this beautiful child.  first bottle, first snuggle in the rocking chair, first prayers, first bath, first (of many) diaper change, etc...Hudson was sick at the time with a rattle in his chest and a fever.  it was a joy to give him lots of tender care and develop trust in those first days.  he was quick to attach and slowly let glimpses of his personality be revealed.  he was spunky and smiley and much like we know him to be today. 
fast forward seven years and it feels so good to look back.  it is important to remember where he came from, obstacles he's had to overcome, parts of him that are forever shaped by those earliest days. 
adopting Hudson was the start of something so transformation in my own personal life.  it was the discovery of a God-given passion for adoption and orphan care.  it was a journey that stretched my faith and sharpened my desire to give more of myself to those that simply need someone to care. 
i'm so happy to be Hudson's mom.  it is not always easy, let's be clear :), but seeing this child of mine hitting a ball during a baseball game, or playing with his little brother, or digging into a full plate of food i've prepared, well~ it is a beautiful thing.  i'm abundantly blessed our lives intersected.  i'm thankful beyond words.  can't wait to see how God will use this boy of big personality and intense emotions.  whatever his future holds, we'll walk it with him.  thankful for his adoption.

the sound of silence

i find myself humming the lyrics of this timeless Simon and Garfunkel classic this week....yes, the sound of silence is welcomed after a busy busy summer with lots of people coming and going, lots of happenings and celebrating and planning and doing. 
i could go on about the deeper, and even bittersweet thoughts of having my oldest turn sixteen and my youngest head off to grade one, full days every day.  i'm sure i'll hit those topics soon...but for now, for this moment, the silence is sweet.  i can hear myself think.  i can gather my busied thoughts.  i can breathe.  inhale.....exhale.....inhale.....exhale......ahhhhh...

summer recap

gotta love the lazy, hazy days of summer (although, to be honest, i wouldn't describe this summer as either lazy or hazy, but maybe more accurately~ lazier and warm).  pics to sum up a few cute memories...

 

 

above, Adam fishing in the river for fun with the rest of us watching from the rocks.  all the serious fishermen were out in their waders being all intense and focused.  Adam, totally casual and carefree, cast a few and quickly reeled in this nice sized silver bass.  the onlookers seemed stunned, one even asking what he was using for bait.  it was pretty cute...Adam then bravely brought the poor fish home and filleted it himself.  the next day he battered and fried his fish and we all enjoyed (a bit of a stretch for some) small bites of "the big catch".

the pic below is poor quality, but the memory will remain crystal clear for Hudson for some time, i'm sure...brave Grandpa Joe let Hud get in the driver's seat of the riding mower and Hudson "helped" haul off some wood and branches from an area at the back of our property.  this happened over the course of several days.  Hudson was thrilled.  completely sure he had arrived.  loving every minute of it.  sooo hoping that job went on all summer. :)

 

 

AJ mastered bubble-blowing.  in Hudson's basketball shoes.  yah, that probably helped.

 

 

lots of summer birthday parties...both our own and some cousins.  never too much cake for AJ.

 

party favours for some of Adam's friends.  gigantic jawbreakers.  crowd pleaser for the boys, not so much their parents. 

 

front yard badminton.  sad when some of my children can now actually beat me.

 

  for some reason, swimming in their "gitch" is extra fun for these two characters.

 

ahh...my dear Layla...she seems to have acquired my fondness for lists.  this whiteboard list just makes me smile.  sort of sums up the beauty of summer too.  her list reminds me a lot of my summers as a kid, she is a lot like me....wasn't being a kid the best?!?  i think so...

 

yep, summer is winding down.  already leaves are dropping in our swimming pool.  the nights are cooler, the crickets are loud and busy making their case that fall is just around the corner.  school supplies are being tucked into backpacks and we are starting to prepare for the early morning routines again.  it is all good.  the kids are ready.  summer has been nice, nothing grand or elaborate for us this year, yet still pretty sweet....for me, there was joy in the moments of fishing, beach time, ice cream trips, baseball games, camp fires with friends, reading, etc...so, we'll enjoy our last few days together and then we'll jump into September and see what comes next! 

boys and their bikes

Saturday afternoon, the day Adam turned 12, his wish was to take his bike to "the jumps" and play for a while. 

 

 

both he and Hudson love love love the adrenaline rush of this activity, which i'll never fully understand.  my girls enjoy it too, but not nearly to the same degree. 

these boys like speed and air and the wind and sun and sweat that seems to coincide with a trip to Canatara.  i try to understand it, but i honestly don't get it.  must be the extra "x" chromosome i have...

 

it gave me great delight to see Adam out there on his birthday, with the newly repaired biked tire (he fixed!) holding strong.  it was bliss. 

 

hope the videos and pics justly capture a small snapshot in time when we look back at this day.

the dress

today, on a bit of a whim, and between my personal "to-do" list, i ventured down to the chaotic storage room of our home, stepping over boxes, tools, weights, chairs, etc...there on the top shelf by baby gates and old framed pictures was the sought after rectangular box labeled "wedding dress".  this box has been opened only a few times in the nineteen years since it first returned from the dry cleaners, late 1994.  each time i wipe off the layer of dust, pull away the tape and lift the cardboard flaps, the same nostalgic feelings overtake me.  as i lift away the pink tissue paper i'm whisked away to another time, another day, another version of me.  the same feelings predictably return each time i unveil the dress..anticipation, excitement, joy...as i lift it gently from its place, i stare at the sequins and beading that made it special to me back when i first chose it in the bridal salon.  apart from some wrinkles, it really hasn't changed much since the day i slipped it on and walked the long aisle to meet my dashing groom. it's nearly as good as new~ which is great, because i'm pretty sure all my girls will want to wear it one day...ahem...i carried the box upstairs and snuck away to my walk-in closet.  i slipped it on while most of my crew was out in the backyard doing batting practice with Daddy.  Layla was milling around in the kitchen.  i stood for a moment, looking in the mirror at the much older version of the bride of '94.  i thought of all the reasons i have to feel blessed.  i looked at the white satin buttons that lined the zipper and marveled at the privilege of wearing this dress that signifies the beginning of so many years of vows kept~ each year holding timeless memories.  through highs and lows, days filled with mundane and extraordinary, this dress is the reminder of the promises we made before God and our wedding guests....for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health....i "took in" the dress for a few private moments and then walked out to the kitchen and stopped Layla in her tracks.  she was both in awe and moderately concerned.  sort of wowed by its bling and disturbed by her mother's random behaviour.  i had even found the veil that was a wee bit flattened, but managed to secure it on my head to complete the visual throwback.  i asked Layla to carry my train so we could slowly and carefully walk to the backyard to show the rest of the family.  (sadly, Joelle is away at camp this week, and she'll be so disappointed she missed the occasion.)  Layla refused.  she thought it would just be too weird and wasn't going to be caught having the neighbours see her involved with such nonsense.  so, out i went on my own, only missing the musical processional and the bouquet of lilies, not to mention my dad on my arm.  he would have participated i'm sure, but he was working.  well, i nearly made it to the back gate when my mom pulled into the driveway and grinned in disbelief.  if she was disturbed, she hid it well.  she always loved the dress and was there when i chose it that day in Ballett's bridal shop.  she (my parents) paid for every cent of that dress, including the veil, jewelry, shoes and alterations.  there were never any outward signs of hesitation.  they just seemed happy to be able to do it, happy to see my joy, happy to witness our new beginning.  we hugged and talked at the fence for a few minutes, and by then the kids in the back had taken notice of the crazy lady in white.  they approached, inspected and enjoyed the oddness of the moment.  it really was fun, and at the very least a visual reminder of the significance of this day, this anniversary.  while life went on today with a birthday party, soccer, drop offs for soccer reffing, and we both agreed to delay our plans to celebrate, it was good for all of us to remember the way things began and the way they continue.  we were two young people smitten by each other and publicly pledging our love forever~ never ever imagining the whirlwind of life (plural) that was to come~yet here we are, still plugging along with the original foundations intact and holding strong.  we are thankful.  we are blessed. 
that was worth the trip to the storage room.