curve balls

not sure where this is going, but i'm sitting down to type anyway.  in other words~ bail now while there's still time! :) when life throws me curve balls, my essential ability to process the unexpected pitch sometimes lags behind a bit.  i guess while we're on the "baseball theme", you'd probably call it a strike!  The pitch is delivered right in the strike zone and whizzes past my eyes before i can react. certainly though, processing these unexpected twists and turns is key.  i'm understanding this more and more the older i get.  not necessarily coming to an immediate conclusion of "why" something occurs, but more "what" is happening around the occurrence.  also, learning to rely on what/and who remains constant.  and also what i know to always be true.  knowing where to "press in" when trials come...letting go of the elusive "why" answer, loosening my death grip on control and self-sufficiency, rolling with life in a certain carefree manner~ well, these have become my current "personal projects".  

any of you five readers :) know me well.  i love all my ducks in a row.  January 2016 has set to work early to chip away at my tendency to want predictable outcomes and 2+2=4 sort of results.  not the worst thing to be that kind of person, and i'm sure most people like it when life unfolds just like so...

even still, i really want to look back on this time and remember, so i'm journaling a bit about the past month here, hoping that passing time will allow me (and my family) to look back and see God's clear hand in our lives, even if we never have all the "whys" answered.  no, nothing super serious is wrong or has transpired.  just a series of changes or interruptions that i will explain below.

the same day our dear friend and guest, Johnny (see two entries back!), left for his trip home to Sweden, i got a stressful call from Hannah during wrestling practice at her school.  Hannah didn't even say "hello", she firmly spoke the words that were important in the moment.  "Joelle hurt her elbow again.  we are going by ambulance to the hospital."  now, honourable mention goes to sweet Hannah as she struggled through seeing Joelle in intense pain, and bravely accompanying her to the hospital by ambulance.  so, for me it was a pretty steep drop from emotional high to emotional low just in that one phone call.  i felt sooo very bad for my girl, knowing fully what she must have been thinking and feeling in that moment while they were immobilizing her arm as she awaited transport to ER.  i was present the first time it happened last March, and i knew how much she would have been going through this time.  long story short, she left the hospital that evening with her elbow reset, the pain under control, and the realization that things were now more lax around her elbow joint.  the dislocation was worse this time, and care and caution would be necessary until healing and MRI and further consults took place.  honestly, it was a very sad evening.  Joelle had been on a mission this year.  so many positive changes had happened for her even since September, and this was a real exciting time as she was on the hunt for the podium at OFSAA in March.  another podium finish would have given her options of wrestling scholarships at the universities she'd already selected.  it could have been her time to set off to school in the fall with a plan to wrestle and the hopeful plan to take a program she was excited about.  but it wasn't to be as she had planned.  or as we had hoped for her.  and that was setting in.  hard stuff.  not life or death, not catastrophic exactly, but still hard when you are eighteen years old and full of potential in a sport you totally love....so, needless to say, her life has looked very different these past few weeks.  she is home, not medically cleared for school or co-op or her part-time job.  still, she is actually handling it all so well, like a champ.  she is hopeful, she is still excited about her future, she seems to know that this experience will make her stronger once on the other side of things.  surgery may be necessary and we are hoping and praying all goes well with that when the time comes....

two days after her injury, still feeling a bit raw about my wrestling daughter and her "plans interrupted", i received a call asking us to consider taking in a baby requiring foster care.  this was a call we knew could happen any day as in recent months we'd been asked to consider opening our home to foster care for babies, as apparently the need was there in our local agency.  "babies?" i had asked. :) "you are in need of homes to care for babies???" well....a chat with my dear husband and then our crew delivered a unanimous "yes" and we were set to go when the need arose.  on that day, a Thursday, during an already emotional week, the call came.  so, for almost two weeks now we've been lovin' on a sweet nine month old baby boy.  and again, the ability to control and predict and plan has been thrown to the wind!  we are right back into bottles and diapers (remember those "up the back" diaper blowouts?  yah...good times!) and baby food and high chairs and car seats.  cra-zi-ness....let me tell you. (plus, i know you were thinking it anyway! :))  take away all the physical demands and schedule changes that are obvious, and on top of that~ this has thrown a curve ball to all eight of us as we wrestle with the emotions that have surfaced while we witness the struggles this presents for a sweet, undeserving baby boy.  he is powerless to influence any of the decisions being made for him, and yet he resiliently adapts and loves and smiles and screams and giggles and learns to trust a new and different family.  he is precious.  we want so deeply for all to work out in his future.  still, all we can do is pray, and care for him as best as we are able, and leave the rest to God.  i love the undercurrent of peace that gives me in every single area of my life when i feel temptation to stress about future outcomes.  letting go and letting God have my cares and concerns is incredibly freeing, and when i "lean in" to my Father~ with every minute detail of my life, it comforts me as God's promises renew my mind and spirit on a daily basis.  so if you think of doing so, please pray for this dear child as he faces frequent transition and waits for his future to be more secure. 

curve balls...can't say i enjoy them, but taking them as they come would be a start, i guess... 

a worthy link

a friend from the adoption world posted a link on Facebook a while ago...i saved it for a rainy day, errr....i mean, extremely crisp,  minus-12-degree-day, to share right here, with you! so kind, i know...

 and if you read between the lines, what that really means is i saved it for a week when time is at a premium and i'm just kind of staying afloat, juggling lots and lots at the moment (keeping it real!:))~more on all of that someday, perhaps...

 soooo it seemed like the perfect opportunity to post a heartwarming and inspiring story, especially in light of January being Sanctity of Life Month.  it is beautiful.  it is sacrificial.  it is brave.  it is love.  it is here. 

  i hope you feel the hope it contains.   i hope you enjoy it...

johnny

wow....where do i even start??!  not an easy post to translate from jumbled thoughts in my overwhelmed brain to text on a blank screen.  sooo, i guess i will start at the top.  the very top, with my Maker and God.  He is soooo very good.  and scripture tells us just that in James 1:17..."Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

yes, these past nine days have been good.  very good....but let me go back a bit so the context is clear.  Johnny was around nine years old, living in Bolivia when our lives first intersected through a great organization called Compassion....I blogged about Johnny here.  so yes, at the time of reconnecting with Johnny through Facebook back in October, we mentioned that our home was always open for him should he ever decide to visit Canada.  needless to say, i never expected he'd be able to accept this offer so quickly, but he did!!  he arrived in Sarnia last week as planned and shared life with our crew (and routine!) for the past week and a bit.  i was a bit nervous that Johnny would find it all a bit busy, repetitive, or even boring as i spend much of my time during any given day driving here, there and everywhere.  Johnny is now a big city guy living in Europe with a very different day-to-day existence than my own.  that, however, did not scare him away.  he rolled with it all and fit in beautifully.  and to say that i feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude at this amazing opportunity we've had is a huge understatement.  Johnny is officially a forever friend of our family.  and between Johnny and myself the relationship felt a bit like a mix of "aunt-nephew, big sister-little brother, mother-son combination"...strange~ yes, but so very nice and i feel completely blessed to have gotten to know him so much more now. 

today he is making the long journey home to his life in Sweden, and my home feels quiet and empty.  the kids adored him, Jeff teased him like Jeff does so well (Johnny knows he teases people he likes!), and we all will miss him.  looking forward to the day we connect again.  here are a few pictures to forever capture sweet memories made so early in 2016...will be hard to beat, i think...

so, it was cold, but not as cold as he's used to in Sweden, or as warm as in Bolivia! :)

 yes, he cooks!  cooks a bit like chef Marcus Samuelsson even (right Johnny!?) haha....with ease and confidence and a clear sense of how he wanted it to be.  with no written recipe he made his Mom's delicious Bolivian chicken and quinoa soup recipe, and fed nine people like a champ!  such a treat...i worked as his sous chef and was happy to share this experience together.

the kids loved it too, and he'd be welcome in our kitchen anytime.

lunch date with my dad.  so special...two great men right there!!

foosball...lots and lots of foosball.  Johnny could defeat some and not others! :)

 all the boys loved this, big and small...

a wonderful evening out enjoying French cuisine, Jeff and i teased Johnny about how he "schmoozed" the owner and waitresses with his French and Spanish language skills...put us to shame and was a definite hit.  i think it's safe to say we'd be welcomed back at that fine establishment. 

antics with raw eggs and lots of giggles, all recorded on smart phones. a bit blurry, but the smiles capture the moment well...

Adam's turn....good competition.

really good competition :)

late night crokinole...

where were my sunglasses?? :)  nice Sweden hat though!  brisk and bright at Niagara Falls, but sooooo very beautiful too.  God's creation never gets old...Johnny finished his Canadian trip with a brief chance to move beyond Sarnia, and we loved our day trip together with him.

the butterfly conservatory was a huge highlight for me/us....wow, never been and am now determined to bring the kids one day soon.  Layla especially would love this place....so many flying around in such a tropical atmosphere, very tranquil (and warm!) on a cold day...loved it!  

my extended family enjoyed this guy as well.  so much.  hopefully Johnny can meet Jeff's parents one day as well.  then Jeff's personality will make more sense if he gets to know Jeff's dad. 

(right Corry?? :))

so thankful God orchestrated all of this, and praying for you, Johnny, as you settle back into your routine this week.  you are so loved here in Canada by all of us, and we will continue to pray for you and your future, that you will wait on God for His plan and purpose for your life, as it surely will be great!  

things to love this Christmas....

so many choices.  i must start with a popular song that moves me this season.  love the lyrics.  love how the true Christmas message is captured with such beauty....Laura Daigle sings Light of the World with such giftedness~ someday i'm singing with her in heaven!!  such talent!  if this is your first time hearing about this song, consider it an early Christmas gift, from me!  you're most welcome!

then there is the annual West Jet wonderfulness here...makes me just want to purchase some good ol' plane tickets from this really nice company.  just to show support, you know?!? :)

then, in my own home, and out and about during Christmas functions, among the normal and crazy and mundane and predictable, are certain Christmas wonders that bring me joy each and every year...

a Starbright performance with family...ushering in Christmas in a Christ-centered way...i hope this becomes a new tradition for us.  the picture is a bit dark, but special to me anyway so it's going up! :)

homespun Christmas ornaments that the kids sort of love/hate.  they don't make for the most perfect designer Christmas tree, but man, do i love seeing these every year.  i love looking back at their tiny faces and remembering them that way (this is necessary! :))...such effort was put into creating these ornaments and i'm very happy they continue to find their way onto the tree.

sugar cookie decorating with two sillies...

 Hudson's Haitian nativity set from a sweet friend....love these pieces...

Christmas assembly times two this year...always precious.  Hudson closed off his class song with a one-line solo in a deep male opera-style voice.  so fun and a total surprise to me.  he even kept it a secret! :)

 deliciousness made by the kids with photo credits going to Adam...

wishing you all, dear family and friends, a restful, joyous and meaningful Christmas...love to all from our family to yours!

five

somehow, someway, five years have passed since this boy became ours.  tomorrow marks AJ's fifth Gotcha Day! in the picture below, our first ever of AJ on the day of his adoption referral, he was just a tiny boy on my computer screen.  one whose eyes told a story of deep loss in his short three years of life.  my joy in the moment of laying eyes on him, finally seeing the face of our son after such a long wait....well, i'll never ever ever forget the magnitude of that moment.  the literal miracle that lead us to him in the first place was so vivid still and though the process had been slow and so very uncertain, there he was looking back at me.  the realization of a dream and a prayer and God's plan unfolding there before our eyes....

 

Alemayehu Jeffrey, on the court day when he took on his daddy's name as his middle name, and the first time Jeff declared him to be "AJ"...

finally, in December of 2010 on our way back to Ethiopia for the second time to bring home our son.  needless to say, after the snowstorm of all time and almost missing our flights out of Toronto, we were happy to lay our heads down on our luggage once finally at Heathrow in London....didn't matter that there were no options to stretch out or that we were exhausted mentally and physically, we were picking up AJ and beyond relieved to be nearing the end of a really long journey...

AJ, guarded and unsure of his new daddy....

but not for long....the silly, sweet and spunky side emerged within the day and we got to see his eyes dance and his dimples on full display.  smitten we were....

AJ and I below~ i was completely overjoyed.  no other way to say it.  surreal, surreal...isn't my face almost glowing? :)  it's that beautiful Ethiopian morning sun, but still...

happy 5th Gotcha Day AJ!!! 

 i love being your mom, and am so totally thankful God gave us you!

ecosystems...riveting stuff below

i'll spare you many of the bizarre and complex details.  in short, i'll just explain that Layla's class was assigned a project where each student was charged with the task of creating an ecosystem.  an ecosystem is defined as "a biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment." sooo...here it is, $35 dollars in, after two trips to the pet store, this is day one of fish living with snails and rooted plants with floating plants all within a jar filled with "aged" water.  there are lots of flaws to this project, in my opinion, both in the design and execution of a successful ecosystem that has any real potential to last.  perhaps this is why i've dubbed it the "project of death"....but as i said, i won't get into it too much here, cuz hey, the pictures are cute.  all four were entertained for many minutes staring into the jar and watching the fish and snails adapt to their new home, for however long or short :( that may be....ahem...

even since this picture was taken, we are down one member of our "thriving" ecosystem.  we started with five happy little fish, and now there are four hearty ones remaining.  imagine my horror one evening when i walked by the counter, stared into the jar as i often do (i've grown a wee bit attached to these rascals), and had to do a re-count and another re-count to confirm my worst suspicions.  yes, we were down a fish...i scoured the bottom and sure enough, there among the shoots of the rooted plant, lay the poor little fish belly up and perfectly still with a sort of glazed-eye look that oddly seemed to lock gaze with mine.  i dreaded the thought of telling Layla, and then there was the whole process of "retrieving" it from the bottom.  how was i going to do that?  with a serving spoon?  applied suction from a turkey baster?  well, i thought about it for a bit, only to have the decision taken right out of my hands a few hours later when i walked past again to see the large snail consuming the fish slowly and methodically right before my piercing eyes.  i couldn't believe it.  this was the most "real" part of the ecosystem i'd seen so far.  the brutal realities of aquatic life i suppose.  i broke the news gently to Layla the next morning.  she took it well.  

two days later, early on a school day i came out to the kitchen to make coffee.  first things first, right?  i glanced at the jar, as always, and to my horror discovered the large snail was literally MIA, gone from the jar, nowhere to be found.  and this snail is large~ approximately the size of a ping pong ball.  there's no way you wouldn't see it.  i had a moment of brief perplexing panic, wondering why this ecosystem had gotten so twisted, so fast.  i slid the jar over a bit to realize the snail had decided to escape through the night.  there he was, inside his shell, opening facing up, appearing lifeless right there on my kitchen counter.  i repeat, on my kitchen counter...nice....without a second to waste i grabbed a sheet of Bounty and scooped the poor fella up and gently plopped him back into his homemade ecosystem.  i wished him well, but feared the worst.  it's almost as if this snail is super intelligent and knows the future is bleak~ he was making a run for it while there was still time...as i sanitized my counter, i saw small signs that Mr. Snail might be okay after all.  the smaller white snail literally approached, and something that may have been CPR occurred,  and before i even began making breakfast the larger snail was back to exploring the jar, slow but sure as snails seem to do...from that moment on~ we make sure the lid is on!  

good times!!  even still, this will be a project i want to remember a decade from now, or even six months from now at the rate my memory is going.  i suspect Layla will enjoy this memory too one day. 

yonas

so in October we received awesome news about Johnny that i blogged about here,  then November proved to be equally awesome when i woke one day to "Yonas news" from Eyob.  brief refresher~ Yonas is a boy we met in 2010 when we were in Ethiopia picking up sweet AJ. 

 i've blogged many times about Yonas since our first meeting five years ago, but the very first time i mentioned him was here.  Yonas is now somewhere around sixteen years old and living in Addis Ababa.  he has some contact with Eyob, the man who is director of the organization and orphanage where AJ spent time before we were cleared to adopt him.  Eyob has facilitated Yonas' sponsorship by seven Canadian families~ all invested in loving this boy from across the world.  each family heard his story back in 2010 and wanted to be a part of speaking Hope and Love into his life.  pretty nice.  since that time, Yonas has received medical care that has led to a diagnosis of HIV, and he now has regular ARV medications and has regular assessments and treatments that have brought him around to a position of looking and feeling well.  Praising God for this!

so, we've attempted many various forms of communication with him over the years.  this has proved to be daunting, to put it mildly.  the coolest experiences have been when our two sets of friends, on two different occasions during two different years, visited Ethiopia and literally tracked him down, meeting Yonas face to face and delivering tangible love to him from all of us back here at home. chalk that up to amazing friends and impressive logistics and one powerful, loving Heavenly Father who helped to accomplish those precious encounters.  

soooo, one morning last month i woke to a message from Eyob.  gotta love Facebook, at least for this, right?  Yonas had come by his office on that particular day.  they'd taken some pictures and he'd even taken time to write a letter to us. 

the pictures below are the latest.  in the first one he's holding some shoes and clothes he was able to purchase from the sponsorship money sent by the seven families...

these two are pictures of a picture, so you do see a glare, but that's how they came to me...what a handsome young man.  so happy to see his sweet grin...

and this is his letter to us in Amharic...

 see the translation below, again blurry but probably legible if you click on the picture to enlarge it....completely melted me to read his sign off, "your son, Yonas"....so thrilled that he knows there are people in another land, far away, that care for him as surrogate parents.  Yonas hasn't a forever family of his own, and this means so much to see that he understands how much he is loved....

 well, you can imagine my eyes brimming with tears as i stared at his grown up face and his beautiful penmanship.  he looks like a young man now, all handsome and appearing healthy.  Eyob translated the letter for us as well~ super nice of him to do so. 

Yonas and Eyob, at the KVI office. 

 so awesome and wonderful.  i look forward to the day when Yonas has his own Facebook account and we can correspond more regularly.