nostalgic

" ...longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition..."

guilty.  that's me. especially when Jeff has these wonderful photo memories pop up on his new fancy schmancy computer.  or i stumble across old pictures when deep cleaning (which doesn't happen often, let me tell you).  i especially loved this pocket of time, this season of parenting...i'm not shy about saying so.  having a crew of small children taking up my every day was an opportunity i'll always be grateful for.  i chose it.  i willingly left my career to devote 100% of my energy to the role of "mom".  it was crazy busy and totally tiring, but also so fun and rewarding.  all those birthday parties, sporting events, piano lessons, homework, speech meets, homemade waffles, vacations, Halloween costumes, etc....

it's no secret that i've struggled much more with the more recent years of my parenting journey.  my kids know it too.  but i've never forgotten what my nursing instructor once emphasized to me as we provided care to a brand new baby.  she was talking about parenting and stressed how absolutely crucial it was that i remember to enjoy the journey, if i was ever lucky enough to become a mother.  she said "be conscious of each stage, they truly grow so fast..."

i'm trying to be more present, to live more in the moment. to cherish each stage as it comes.  i'm definitely not always succeeding, but my heart really wants to!  somehow these throwback pictures give me more resolve to press on with steadfast love and presence, and they're a beautiful, vivid reminder of what's at stake.  so good to see these pics.  it energizes me in a way... 

these six (and the extras we love) are such a gift.  so thankful God's got all of them in His hands, and that He has taken me this far in the journey.  even before it all started, He knew me and all my weaknesses and limitations~ and still chose me to be their mom. that's huge.  it moves me and humbles me.  even when the weight of the responsibility presses down, i'm never alone in this.  

so grateful ❤

mutual love

 these two sure love eachother.  not hard to understand why.  AJ pours a lot of time and effort into this precious boy.  it's sweet to see their relationship deepen.

baby C knows AJ's name, and it was one of the first ones he said.  it sounds more like "JJ" when he says it, but it's really clear who he's talking about.  thankful for AJ's care and attention he showers on this boy.  it's helpful to me for sure but also so formative and important for baby.  he's going to be a great dad one day.  

sure keeps me on my toes

 this kid does. not. stop. he's go go go all day long.  and he's determined to reach new levels and heights, quite literally.  he climbs up into his own highchair now, for goodness' sake!

caught him on this particular day scouting out the fruit bowl.  

sure do love him, shenanigans and all!

school is back

 these cuties are back in class.  after a really good summer, all things considered, they woke early today (felt really early) to catch their respective buses and embark on new learning adventures.  Layla, doing a the victory lap "12 x" year, Hudson grade 11 and Alemayehu grade 9.  mind blowing....somehow this happened and for the first time in twenty years i have no kids in elementary school...no more hot lunch days, no recess and no indoor shoes.  can't even believe it.  

so naturally lots of prayers for our whole bunch this year.  thinking of the three oldest too.  one still a student in London and the other two embarking on new career opportunities today and in another week. 

still, this morning it was completely refreshing to sit on my couch in silence (total silence!! :) baby was still asleep!) and have some quiet time and ask God to lead and guide my kids this whole year through.  it was peaceful to leave my deepest cares at His feet, knowing He loves them even more than i do.  and that's a lot. 

and to my six~ i'm not gonna lie, the time to myself today with only baby C. felt easy and light and honestly, like a very necessary break.  but also know that all day long my thoughts were with you.  each one,  funny how that works...i sure do love you to pieces and pray this is an amazing year!  i'm trusting God with your journeys.  2021-2022 advice you ask?  same as last year...haha...choose well, rise up and be great, and have fun! ❤